Day 225 - 278.8 lbs

Sorry, I've been missing in action for a couple of days.  Things kinda went rocky with hubby, still no positive solution but looking at different options.

On Thursday as he was cleaning some of the drainage from the outside of his ear he noticed blood in the discharge.  Friday he placed a call to the specialist and got "you've probably just irritated it from digging at it with a Q-tip, but we'll note it on your chart".  He does not go into the ear when he cleans the discharge so knew that could not be it.  I decided to take him to ER last night but when we got there the waiting room was packed, there were cops all over the place and the air ambulance had just came in.  He did not want to sit there for hours waiting.  By this time he was totally stressed and worn out. 

I held my husband in my arms last night while he cried and said he did not want to die from a brain infection.  You have to have read up on this tumor in order to understand that if the infection eats trhough a thin bone plate that protects the brain there is no stopping it.  It will destroy the brain.  He is hurting, discouraged, severely stressed and doesn't know what to do.  The receptionist at the doctor's office treated him like a child instead of taking seriously what was going on.  The doctor had even said that if he noticed a change in anything that he should call right away.  Well as you can see it did no good as he could not get past the receptionist.

So have made the decision that he will go to the local ER on Monday morning and if he gets no assistance I will be taking him to Edmonton on Wednesday to the U of A hospital and I will not be leaving until someone has done something.  All the literature points to the need for fast action with this tumor and still it has been 10 days since the file was sent to the ear specialist in Calgary and not a word.  No more........now I am very angry.  My husband is a strong man and has a deep faith in God but does not want to die from an infection eating away his brain.  I can't blame him, I can only imagine how horrible that would be.

As for me, I'm not sleeping well and having major migraine headaches.  I just keep telling myself I need to be strong for him.  Eating has been ok, I am remembering that it's a day to day thing and I have not been allowing myself to binge.  I think I may have over eaten at a couple of meals but no binging, so holding onto that as a good thing right now.

Went to Costco this morning and loaded up on fresh fruits and vegetables.  I did make one mistake though.  A co-worker told me about a frozen hot chocolate drink that they make at Second Cup so on the way home I stopped to get one.  Bad choice, 750 calories according to thier website.  Won't be making that mistake again.  I can probably make them at home with less than a 100 calories.  Even worse was I didn't even stop to really think about the calories that could be in it.  It was a slip, and I will make up for it for the rest of the day with lots of fruits and veggies.  I need to learn to be more concious of the choices I make at these places.  Sometimes I wonder where my brain is.....

I sent hubby off to his biker buddy's this morning so they could have some quality time together.  They have been best friends for years.  I wanted to get my shopping done this morning and then had a funeral to attend this afternoon so was a good way to get him out from under foot without making him feel like I didn't want him around.