Saturday, May 8, 2010

Day 218 - Fell of the wagon .........

Yesterday afternoon I feel off the wagon and have been on a binge ever sense.  Evertything and anything that looks the least bit like food has found it's way into my mouth.  I have eaten so much that I am physically ill.  I am really annoyed with myself right at this moment.  I was doing so good, and even today I climbed back up and did real well till after lunch and then the devil took over.  I don't even remember what all I have had the displeasure of consuming.  Why?  I have no idea.  I can see myself reaching for things, telling myself I shouldn't and still doing it.  It is totally insane. 

I'm exhausted, emotionally and physically.  I'm not sleeping well at nights and I just want to sit down and have a good cry but that is not possible as hubby is always around and I don't want him to see me like that. 

Spent all day doing laundry and not much else.  Hubby had a good friend stop by and they worked on the chop bike for a couple of hours.  BBQ'd for supper and now just doing my blog entry before I go and watch a little TV.  Tomorrow we are going to Trev's for the day so that should be nice.  I made a banana cream pie to take.  Was going to make a coconut one as well but thought no because if I do, I'll be tempted to eat more than one piece and I really need to get back on track and fast.


  1. Tessa, that's just no good. Could you go for a walk and have your cry while away?
    I am so sorry you are having such a rough time.

  2. Sounds just like my day Tessa, except you have this whole situation going on, and I don't know WHAT my problem is!

    I'm so sorry for what you are going through. If you need a cry, you need a cry. Go to your room, and let it out... I hate to admit it but I have had to go hide and have a cry before... the bathroom is good, the fan and a shower even more of a mask for the sound...
    :( I hate to be giving advise on how to cry, it really makes me sad. Usually I would say don't hide it, but I totally understand you want to stay strong for him... I would feel that way...

    Hang in there Tessa, we are all thinking of you and praying for you and your husband.

  3. Enjoy your Mother's Day! Eat pie if you want and don't feel guilty! After all, it is Mother's Day!

    Remember the stress you put on yourself packs on pounds!

  4. Hi Tessa. I know there is a lot going on, but I do hope you had a nice day...
    Happy Mother's Day!