Saturday, October 24, 2009

Day 22 - 286.4 lbs

I know it's been a few days since I posted.  I have been extremely exhausted from the past few days and did not even have the energy to open my blog.  I'm not even sure what day it was, Wednesday I think, but they took my Dad back into emergency in order to install a pacemaker.  So that meant I had to go in real early in the morning if I wanted to see him so as not to make the other members of my family uncomfortable by visiting at the same time they are.  Then we ended up with the sewer pipes breaking in the space over our office and we had to be moved to different offices throughout the hospital till they could find some new office space for us.  So it has been a week from hell.  Then after getting home from attending a wonderful Rally for my support group I find a message on Facebook from my brother.  He thinks I have become best friends with his ex-wife, just because I offered to have coffee with her when she was in town, and now he wants nothing to do with me.  My version of Family Feud, will it ever end.

I'll be honest I have not been keeping track of what I've been eating.  It's been such a messed up week and I have been so tired that I really didn't care what I ate.  I obviously didn't do to bad though as the scale this morning was 286.4, so I have managed to maintain a lose and under the circumstances that it almost a miracle to my way of thinking.

Someone left me a comment that I should get myself and my husband on a diabetic diet so that his sugars could be brought under control and I would be able to lose weight.  Bless her/his heart but it is the diet that his doctor gave him that I have been trying to follow.  My problem is that I let my emotions get in the way of my sensibility and they everything goes out the door.  Sometimes I think I need a shrink instead of a food plan.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Day 17 - 286.4 lbs

Well it's Monday morning and that means back to work.  It also means support group meeting tonite and weight in.

3/4 shreddies
1/3 cup 1% milk
1/2 teaspoon white sugar
3/4 cup grapefruit
3/4 cup low fat yogurt

2 oz deli corned beef on 2 slices whole wheat bread with mustard
1 Chinese mandarin orange

4 oz grilled sirloin steak
1/2 stuffed potato
1 cup mixed steamed vegetables (brocoli, cauliflower, carrots)
1 slice garlic toast
1 cup beef vegetable soup

Weigh in went well, down .4 from 2 weeks ago so that means that I have managed to keep the 5.4 pounds that I lost off plus add another 1/2 pound to the total lost.  Not the greatest loss but definitely better than a gain.

Got home from my meeting to messages from my sister and brother that dad was in the hospital and they are putting in a pace maker in the morning.  Glad they found out what was wrong. 

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Day 16

A good day today.  Had some great talks with hubby.  Went to sunday school and church, listened to a great sermon.  Spent the rest of the day getting my vehicle fueled up and washed for work tomorrow.  Had some paperwork to take care of before meeting tomorrow night.  Hubby's sugars have been normal since this morning, it has been a glorious day. 

2 oz back bacon
1 egg fried in non stick pan with vegetable spray
1 slice dry whole wheat toast
3/4 cup grapefruit
3/4 cup yogurt
1 pkg Maxwell House Maxiccino

Chef's salad with lettuce, cucmber, tomato, 3 oz roast turkey breast and 2 tablespoons calorie wise ranch dressing
Chinese mandarin orange

4 oz roast pork tenderloin
1 cup plain mashed potatoes
2 tablespoon gravy
8 asparagus spears - steamed
1/2 cup fat free butterscotch pudding

As you can see I have up the amount of protien in each meal.  I am hoping this will help take care of some of the cravings.

Tomorrow morning is weigh in so we will see what happens.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Day 15

Well it's early in the morning and already the day is in crisis mode.  Hubby woke up this morning with blood sugars at 25.9 and a screaming headache.  Beginning to think that it is going to be one of those weeks where not too much goes right.  Can only hope and pray that all this does not affect my food too much.  Actually, in spite of everything I am quite looking forward to getting back on track today.  Enough of this pity party nonsense, time to suck it up and take affirmative action.

Well finally got hubby's sugars down to 6.8 and he is feeling much better.  It's been a very busy day.  Went to Costco to order my new glasses.  Couldn't believe it, they were half the price that the fancy places wanted and better quality to my way of thinking.  Stocked up on some necessities and fruit.  Came back into town and stopped at Canadian Tire to check out a bread maker for the future daughter in law for Christmas.  Finished picking up groceries at Save-on.  Hurried home and unpacked them, had lunch and then off to a Victorian Epicure paty.  First time I have seen this product and was rather impressed, ordered some to use as Christmas gifts. 

As the Epicure party was dip and seasonings had a few tastes but nothing to amount to a whole lot.  Keep the food on track today and feeling much better.

2 frozen Eggo pancakes with 1/2 teaspoon butter and 1 tablespoon sugar free syrup
3/4 of a cup yogurt

2 oz deli corned beef on 2 slices whole wheat bread with mustard
1 Chinese mandarin orange

1 cup mashed potatoes
3 oz mild Italian sausage
1/2 cup french green beans
1/2 cup manadarin orange pieces

Friday, October 16, 2009

Day 14

It's  been a long, long day.  It started at 6:45 this morning with a call from my dad saying he wasn't feeling good and would I take him to ER.  Sat there till 11:00 a.m., thankfully nothing serious.  Took him home and then went to work.  Crammed 6 hours of work into 3 and am totally exhausted.

I was in such a hurry this morning that I didn't have a chance to eat breakfast.  It was finally 1:0 p,m, before I was able to get something to eat.  By then I had a major headache and my blood sugars and really dropped. 

1 piece of battered fish
1/2 cup coleslaw
10 - 15 french fries

Got home, totally exhausted but made a decent meal with proper portions and felt much better after eating.

2/3 cup spaghetti
1/2 cup meatless sauce
2 oz meatballs
green salad with 1 tablespoon calorie wise french dressing

So I am back on track even after having a not so great lunch.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Day 13

Well today is my 57th birthday and I've done some heavy thinking about how I am going to manage doing this.  First of all I am not going to do a daily weigh in any more.  Instead it will only be every 5 days or so.  I think doing it daily leads to more stress especially if it goes up and down.  Once every few days will be a more accurate picture.

I watched an interview with Valerie B on last night regarding her struggle to lose weight and get her life in order.  It was really interesting especially the part where she talks about the weight being a mask and how weight lose is just one part of the problem.  It made a lot of sense to me after I watched it a couple of times.

Also started reading a book by Kay Sheppard and realize that I cannot heal my body without healing my mind.  The next goal is to work on that aspect as well.

No food plan today as I did good for breakfast and lunch but hubby ordered pizza for supper and even though I was good it is definitely not on my menu list.  Tomorrow starts a brand new day and with it a chance to deal with all the excess baggage as well as the weight.

Decided to post what I ate.

3/4 cup of rice krispies
3 oz 1% milk with 1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/4 cantaloupe

2 oz canned ham with green onion and 1 tablespoon mayo on
2 slices whole wheat bread
6 oz V8 juice
1 banana

4 pieces ham and mushroom pizza (1/2 of a 12 inch), I know it was a little much

Good nite and God bless!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Day 12 - 286.2 lbs

Yes, you are reading that correctly, another gain.  I am in a really bad mood this morning.  First the gain, then hubby gets up at 5 a.m. and turns on his light, no more sleeping for me.  Then I go to leave for work and he asks me why so early and I replied it was 10 to 8 and he didn't bother to tell me that it was actually only 10 to 7.  So I get in my vehicle and head down the street and the radio says it is 5 to 7.  I turned around and came home and spend half an hour shovelling snow to vent my frustrations.  Look out anyone that gets in my way today cuz I don't think I can look at anything pleasantly right now.

My 12 step meeting last night was on dealing with being in the moment.  Well believe me I am certainly in the moment this morning.  Right now I'd like to kick something and definitely not thinking about the future consequences of my actions.......grrrrrrrrr.

My oldest son turns 38 today, another hard moment to live with as that makes me old and getting older.  Where has all the time gone.

3/4 cup yogurt
1 banana

Well my mood did not impove too much throughout the day nor did my eating habits.  Went right off the deep end again today.  Couldn't follow a meal plan if it jumped out and landed right in front of my eyes.  We discussed allergies to wheat and sugar last night at step study but I am not totally convinced that is the problem.  I think the problem is that I give up too easy and then have a hard time getting back on track.  I was so excited when I started this blog thinking it was the thing to do.  But again I think I had convinced myself that it was the perfect solution and would work with no effort on my part.  My brain seems to be divided in two; the sensible side and then nonsensible side.  The sensible side has me knowing the right and wrong things to do and when/when not to do them.  The nonsensible side just lets me go on making an ass out of myself and screwing everything up.  Do I dare say that tomorrow will be a better day?  I thought today would be but that proved to be a lost thought as it did not materialize. 

The doctor told my hubby today that if he doesn't get his diabetes under control his kidneys are going to shut down.  He actually got mad at him and told him he obviously didn't know how to eat or handle a diabetic lifestyle.  The past 3 weeks we have been watching his diet, he's been getting some exercise and still the numbers are out of scope.  Not sure what I can do to help.  Did dig out my diabetic guide to proper eating book tonite.  It has meal plans for 365 days so will have to try that as the one I am using now is not helping him.

I'm beginning to think that this crap never stops.  I have to worry about him as well as try to get myself under control.  Oh God, where do I start.  Despair seems to be my middle name lately.  I really need to give myself a good swift kick in the butt and stop with the pity parties.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Day 11 - 285.6 lbs

13 Oct 09

A new day, a new beginning.  I was happy with the scale today, especially after the day I had yesterday.  I truly believe that God spared me from total embarrassment and offered me a chance to redeem myself.

3/4 cup yogurt
3/4 rice krispies with 3 oz 1% milk, 1/2 teaspoon white sugar
1/2 cup canned mixed fruit

1 cup Italian Wedding soup
1 small dinner roll with 1 tablespoon peanut butter
1/2 cup applesauce

6 inch sub bun with 1 oz deli ham, 1 thin processed cheese slice, 1 teaspoon mayo

Had to eat a quick dinner tonite as I spent most of the afternoon after work trying to find an affordable pair of glasses.  The ones I have now need to be updated but I am refusing to pay upwards of $800 for a new pair of glasses.  It is definitely highway robbery.  What happens to the poor people trying to live on minimum wage and needing eye wear.  Not sure why they need to be so costly.  Will try Costco's on the weekend and see what they have for pricing.

Busy day at work what with it having been a long weekend.  Got caught up on most paperwork, have a few corrections to do tomorrow.  Went up to see how my uncle was doing.  His body is still not processing meals.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Day 10 - 285.4 lbs

12 Oct 09

Yep, I did it, managed to gain 2 pounds yesterday and only walked 1449 steps (.72 miles).  No excuses other than I thought I was in control and obviously that was not the case.  We drove for 4 hours so that would account for the lessor steps, but I could have gone for a walk and didn't.  Was I in control, NOT, but I thought back to what I had eaten and it was definitely carb laden and way too much.  Good trial run for the upcoming Christmas season.  Need to learn to have more self-disipline.  Anyway, I am not going to dwell on it but get back on track today.  Have lots of housework to do so that should shed a few calories.

Today has been a total write off right from the start.  I got into everything I could find to get into and then some.  Don't know what came over me but I can bet that the scale is gonna be right back where I started 10 days ago tomorrow.  It really sucks but that is life and I should have known yesterday would send me over the edge.

Looking forward to a brand new day tomorrow.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Day 9 - 283.4 lbs

11 Oct 09
283.4 lbs and 7021 steps (3.51 miles)

Today is Thanksgiving day here in Canada and we are going to my son's to celebrate.  Going to approach this big meal with an eating out attitude and hopefully it will not show on the scale tomorrow.

1 slice dry whole wheat toast
1 oz back bacon
1 egg, fried in non-stick pan
3/4 cup of raspberry yogurt

Made it through the day not too badly.  Ate conservatively at Thanksgiving lunch/dinner.  Didn't have my scale with me but think I did ok, scale will tell tomorrow.  I must admit that I did have a piece of pumpkin pie but it is Thanksgiving after all.

Spent a great afternoon with sister and her husband, my son and his family.  Still miss the old days when the whole family would gather at Mom and Dad's.  It really hit home how separated our family has become when I read on Facebook that the one brother that speaks to me was at Mom and Dad's with the rest of the family that won't give me the time of day.  It is a sad day indeed when a family gets split over stupid little things.  Oh well, not much I can do about it.

Still full from earlier so going to just have some fruit and a piece of toast and then back to the food plan tomorrow.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Day 8 - 284.8 lbs

10 Oct 09
284.8 pounds, 6793 steps (3.4 miles)

Up half a pound from yesterday, probably just fluid.  Going to try adding more protien to the food plan today.  Carbs seem to be sitting at a good level but maybe overdoing it a bit with the fruit so will cut back on that and add more vegetables.  Just need to balance them out.

1 package instant regular oatmeal with 3 oz 1% milk & 1/2 teaspoon brown sugar
3/4 cup peach yogurt
1/2 cup blueberries
Maxwell House Instant Maxachinno (60) calories - this is my weekend treat as I don't drink regular coffee

Grilled cheese sandwich:
2 slices whole wheat bread
1 1/2 slices processed thin cheese slices
1 teaspoon butter

1 cup tomato rice soup
1/2 cup blueberries with 1/4 cup sherbert

Gourmet Hamburger
1 whole wheat hamburger bun
3 oz lean hamburger patty (cooked weight)
1 think slice deli pepper ham
1 thin slice processed cheese
1 teaspoon green relish & mustard

1 cup cooked savoy cabbage
1 6" corn on the cob sprayed with liquid Becel

Been a really busy day today.  Trying out new multi-focal contact lenses.  Seem to be ok but time will tell.  Did grocery shopping, laundry, made pies for tomorrow.  Even snuck in a 2 hour nap this afternoon, seeing as I was up at 4:30.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Day 7 - 284.2 lbs

09 Oct 09
Wow one whole week has gone by since I started this.  284.2 pounds this morning and I forgot my step counter yesterday so I will just take an average and say 5000 (2.5 miles).

Had a drop in blood sugars last night just before going to bed.  Got dizzy and felt faint so had 2 tablespoons of peanut butter and went to bed.  Seemed to work as I woke up fine.

1 slice dry whole wheat toast
1 egg fried in non-stick pan with vegetable spray
1/2 cup blueberries
3/4 cup blueberry yogurt

Bran Muffin with 2 teaspoons butter

1 oz deli ham with 2 slices whole wheat bread, lettuce and mustard
1 cup mixed fresh fruit (watermelon, cantaloupe, pineapple, grapes, orange slice)

1 cup spaghetti
2 oz meatballs
1/2 cup non-meat spaghetti sauce
green salad (lettuce, cucumber, tomato)
1 tablespoon calorie wise French dressing
4 oz canned tropical fruit salad

A reader caught an error I made in my weight this morning.  Looked like I lost 100 pounds instead of the 6 that I actually  That's what happens when I get up to early in the morning and we have a power failure before I have a change to read what I have written.

Had a good day today.  It is our 10th anniversary and hubby got me flowers, plus it is our daughter's birthday.  Went to visit my uncle, he was still in ER as they did not have a bed for him upstairs yet.  He looked good and except for his body not processing food he's doing good.  Hopefully they can fix that and he will be able to go home.

Bladder surgery has been set back to Oct 30th from the 21st.  Gives me another 9 days to get some more pounds off.

This will be a very busy weekend what with it being Thanksgiving and all.  Have an eye appointment in the morning, then have to get some shopping done and pies made.  Going to my son's for Thanksgiving so that will be nice.  Going to make this short and sweet today as I am tired and just want to relax for a bit.  Have to make my shopping lists for tomorrow as well so that means meal planning for another week.  I feel good about the week and have managed to stay focused and on track.  Hubby had lunch with a friend today and they had fish and chips.  Said it made him feel queasy and it was all my fault because of all the healthy food I've been making him eat.  Rather proud of myself as he did ask if I wanted to go out for supper and I actually said no.  Unbelievable.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Day 6 - 285.4 lbs

08 Oct 09
285.4 pounds 5351 steps (2.68 miles)

Well I just about blew it last evening.  I was getting things ready for my lunch today and without thinking cut a small slice of cheese and popped it in my mouth.  Wrong thing to do as that just led to all kinds of thoughts going through my head.  I looked at the loaf of bread on the counter and thought what the heck, no one will know.  Wanted to take the bread and pile on the peanut butter and just literally pig out.  Even had my hand on the knife but I managed to talk myself out of it and decided to make a better choice.  So I had instead:

3 teaspoons raspberry sherbet
1 bag Thinsations Shortbread Cookies
as well as the small piece of cheese

I probably didn't need any of it but I realized that when I have these urges I need to quiet them with something.  It's just a matter of substituting the good for the bad.  I never thought about how honest I need to be with myself, never mind others, when I get these urges.  Honesty is going to become the main focus of this blog I think. 

As hubby said last evening we need to look at food as simply fuel for our bodies.  Once we get that concept imprinted in our minds it should get easier.

3/4 cup of rice krispies with 3 oz 1% milk and 1/2 teaspoon sugar
3/4 cup of blueberries
3/4 cup of raspberry yogurt

I must note here that I had thought the containers of yogurt I am using were 1/2 cup but they are actually 3/4.  It does make a difference as far as calorie count goes (35) but I want to be accurate in my food record.

Bran Muffin w/ 2 teaspoons butter

1/2 protien bar
1 cup raw celery and carrots
1/2 cup applesauce
2 oz hard cheddar cheese

3 oz baked salmon with 1 tsp salad dressing & 1 tsp sour cream blended, spread over the top and sprinkled with parmesian cheese sprinkled on it  - delicious
2/3 cup coucous mixed with 1/2 cup brocoli
1 canned pear w/juice

Think we had dinner to early today, feeling kind of hungry right now.  Never sure if it is hunger or compulsive overeating.  Will not have anything tonite as I think that I over did it yesterday.  You will notice that I have added a snack in the morning.  This serves two purposes 1) provides me some additional fiber and 2) I tend to get too hungry between breakfast and lunch. 

It's been an awful day weather wise, snowing and blowing, I'm in no way wanting winter to be here yet.  It's way to early.  The roads were horrid on the main highways with lots of accidents.

My mom and brother's birthday today.  I sent mom flowers but that is all that I can do as we have a very strained relationship.  Hopefully she will enjoy them.  Sent brother a message on Facebook but didn't call him as he said he had been drinking all afternoon and I just can't deal with that.  My aunt called and said my uncle was back in the hospital here.  He is fighting colon cancer and so far not doing real good.  I will go up and see him tomorrow.  Never rains but it pours. 

Other than that just an ordinary day.  I did stop at the tire shop on the way home to price out some all season tires for the SUV, that's gonna cost an arm and a leg.  The price we pay to have the freedom of mobility.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Day 5 - 285.6 lbs

07 Oct 09
285.6 pounds, 5837 steps (2.92 miles).  Looking good.  I woke up this morning with a feeling of accomplishment.  This is my fifth day and I have not faltered.  Normally by now I would have given up and just started eating everything in sight.  On my way home from meeting last night I heard an ad on the radio regarding a weight lose clinic and how this gentleman has lost a 130 pounds in 8 months.  The one thing that struck me was he said "it works, if you work it".  That is a saying from my 12 twelve step program and I thought about how I had tried this particular clinic and I lost very little weight and lots of money.  To top it off the food was absolutely disgusting due to all the heavy sauces and gravies they used to try to make it taste appealing.  I don't need to spend $150 a week on prepackaged food to accomplish my goal.  I'm not even sure that I will lose 130 pounds in 8 months, but I refuse to go back onto these quick fix programs.  This has to be a life style change not a quick fix.

3/4 cup bran flakes with 2 oz 1% milk
1/2 cup peach yogurt
4 canned plums and juice

Bran muffin

1 cup beef barley soup
4 oz V8 juice
1 cup raw vegetables (celery, cucumber, cauliflower, broccoli with 1 tablespoon ranch dressing)
1 cup mixed raw fruit (watermelon, cantaloupe, pineapple, orange slice)

Shrimp Stirfry:
2 oz shrimp
1 cup vegetables (carrots, celery, green peppers, green onion)
1 tsp Italian salad dressing

2/3 cup brown rice
1 cup steamed broccoli

1 cup diet jello with 1 tablespoon lite coolwhip

The day was ok other than just before dinner.  I decided to lay down and have a half hour nap before beginning to prepare dinner.  I dozed for about 15 minutes and then started to think about all the things in the fridge that I should be eating.  I mean literally, I wanted to get up and go to the fridge and clean up whatever there was available.  It took me a few minutes to talk myself down but I managed to quiet the thoughts and things went back to normal.

I should explain how I am preparing my meals as it probably seems like a lot of work to go to just for such a small meal.  What I do is decide what we are having and then I measure of the amount of ingredients that I think will be enough for my husband and myself.  Once I have prepared the meal then I measure everything out for myself and the remainder goes to my husband unless I think that it may go over his alloted portions.  I'm getting pretty good at judging what is needed and I am really trying to cook lots of vegetables so that if we do go over it is healthy and calorie wise.

At this point I am struggling with the 1500 calorie meal plans that I printed off of a website.  I find some of the items a bit out of the ordinary for us and our tastes so I am adjusting and substituting what I think with be healthy alternatives.

Hubby said tonite he will not be beaten by a girl.  We'll see.

I had hubby take a picture of me from the neck down just so you can see what I am working on.  Even though it is a horrible picture I don't feel too bad about it.  I have to accept that this is who I am at the moment and that it is going to change slowly over the next little while.  Rome was not built in a day nor did all this excess weight show up overnight.  I cannot expect it to disappear immediately.  Patience, which I sometimes lack, will come into play over the next while I am sure.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Day 4 - 287.2 lbs

06 Oct 09
Weight 287.2 pounds and 5453 steps (2.73 miles).  Okay so there is a .2 pound gain from yesterday.  Not going to get excited about it.  Thinking it was a combination of the dessert for lunch and eating out last night.  Even though I was careful last night I probably over did it a bit and the food of course was prepared differently than what I would at home.  Next time think I will look at the senior's menu and see if there is a smaller version of the Steak Sandwich also have to pass up the dessert for lunch and have a fruit instead, groan.  But if I am to succeed at this I have to learn my limitations.  An old saying comes to mind "a moment on the lips, forever on the hips".  Last night at meeting we had a progam on journaling and it really hit home as to how important it is.  Statistics show that 85% of people will have a better time with weight lose than those that don't. 

1 egg fried in non stick pan with vegetable spray
1 oz back bacon
1 slice dry whole wheat toast
1/2 cup raspberry yogurt
1 orange

green tea
raisin bran muffin

1 wiener and bun

2 oz parmesan chicken
1 small baked potato with 1 teaspoon sour cream
1 cup cauliflower
4 canned plums

Had a bran muffin this morning due to a small digestive problem that required a bit of fibre.  Screwed up at lunch as I thought the cafeteria would have a soup that I could have rather than taking some from home.  All they had was cream or pasta soups so I decided to not have any.  It really didn't bother me and I didn't feel hungry.

Tonite I have my 12 step meeting and I am going to give my sponsor my blog site address.  She deserves some of the credit for my starting it as it was her choice of movie that had us go see Julie & Julia.  She's an amazing lady and puts up with a lot of crap out of me so hopefully by doing this and following my 12 steps I will be able to repay her in some small way.

Hubby was a little put out when I told him of my lose of 5.4 pounds, being as he's supposed to have been working with me on this and hasn't really lost anything.  Says it had him really thinking this morning.  Thnk you God, for showing him what he can have if he just follows the plan.  I think he also now sees how hard it has been for me dealing with a food addiction for all these years.

What an awesome 12 step meeting.  The power was out at the church where we meet so it was decided to have a get to know you meeting.  Thank you God for this wonderful opportunity and to allow me to see that so many others suffer from the same disease that I do.  It is amazing how both my support meetings this week have been about journaling.  It is truly fantastic.  I can see now that God had put the answer before me all along I just never had the common sense to see it for what it was.  Even if no one ever reads this blog I will know in my heart that it was the right thing to do.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Day 3 - 287 lbs

05 Oct 09
Good morning!  Well scale reads 287 pounds.  Step counter read 4730 steps (2.37 miles).  Doing good here so far.  I don't want to think about it, but unfortunately my brain says otherwise, and still wondering if I can do this.  I thought for sure last evening's episode with my son would have thrown me off course but I managed to stay focused.  What will today bring as it is Monday and my weight loss group meeting and back to work.

Work is a difficult place for me as I work in a hospital.  They have a fantastic kitchen and when we go for morning coffee everyone usually has something to eat.  Today I am going to try and just get by with a cup of green tea.  I have to learn that I do not need to do as everyone else does.  The same goes for this evening.  Usually we go out for supper after the meeting.  Tonight I am going to try ordering a Steak Sandwich and eating only half of it.  I suppose I could skip going but I enjoy the socialization.  So these are my commitments for today.

3/4 cup rice krispies
3 oz 1% milk
1/2 cup cottage cheese
1 canned peach

Macaroni Salad:
2/3 cup cooked macaroni
1 1/2 cups raw vegetables (green onion, cucumber, celery, green pepper)
2 oz mozerella cheese cubes
2 tablespoons of salad dressing

1 half piece of lemon square (1" wide x 2" long x 1.5" high) made with graham cracker crumbs, lemon pudding and whipped cream

Dinner (going to try eating out by knowing before hand what I will order)
Steak Sandwich with baked potato, vegetables and garlic toast
Garden salad with small amount of dressing

So far it has been a good day, will see what happens this evening. If I can make it through this challenge I should be good to go.

Well I did it, ate out and managed quite well.  Ordered my dinner as above and put half the meat and potato in a take home container before I even began to eat.  Thought I would eat a whole slice of garlic toast and ended up bringing half of that home as well.

Weigh in was good tonite, down 5.4 pounds from 2 weeks ago.  Now I must explain here that I weighed in at 289.4 pounds tonight and it is different from what you see at the beginning of my blog each day.  The reason being is that when I weigh at home each morning it is without clothes on.  This gives me a better perspective of my actual weight as different sets of clothes can weigh different amounts.  But it was a good lose and I am proud of myself for doing it and keeping it all together tonight.  Atta girl!!!!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Day 2 - 288.8 lbs

04 Oct 09
Now comes the point where I have to decide to be brutally honest with everyone or not say anything and figure no one will know the difference. Honesty it is. Did really well yesterday till hubby decided at 8:30 he wanted Dairy Queen and we have 2 for 1 coupons. Yep, you are right, I sucombed to a Peanut Buster Parfait. I must not become complacent about this even though the scale said 288.8 pounds this morning. A lose is a good thing but I do not want to convince myself that I can lose and still have treats. For yesterday my step counter registered 6730 (3.37 miles), need to get this up to 10,000 a day. I wonder if anyone will ever read this blog or will it just be like journaling for me? Either way it will keep me honest.

Meal plan for today:

3/4 cup rice krispies
3 oz 1% milk
1/2 teaspoon white sugar
1/2 cup raspberry yogurt
1 cup cranberry/raspberry juice

2 slices whole wheat bread
2 tablespoons peanut butter
1 banana

1 medium carrot - raw

2 oz baked pork chop
1 cup stovetop stuffing
1 cup cauliflower
1 1/4 cups cubed watermelon

1/2 cup raspberry sherbert

You may be wondering why I am using real sugar on my cereal.  Well, I am trying not to put any unknown chemicals in my body and articifical sweetners and margarine contain lots of chemicals.  So for the purpose of this project I will be using real sugar, butter and as many regular products as I can.  The yogurt that I am using does contain Splenda but it is almost the last ingredient listed so I feel that is okay.  We live in a world where foods are prepared with the fitness craze high on the list of priorities and in order to make them taste good they add extra fat, salt and sugar.  So my theory is that I can obtain my goal without the use of a lot of "diet products".  There are some things that will fall into that category such as my salad dressings but I use the calorie wise not the fat free as they have more sugar in them.

I managed to resist temptation at church this morning as Banana Bread and Tim Horton donuts were being served.  As long as I didn't go near the table I didn't find it that hard to resist.

Normally I would not have a snack in the evening but my emotions were running high tonite.  My son upset me.  He was out drinking and not bothering to give a thought to how his girlfriend sitting at home would feel about it.  Sometimes he reminds me to much of his dad.  I really wanted to just head for the fridge, cupboard or anywhere that there might be food.  But I settled for a small serving of sherbert instead.  Still not over the angry feeling and I will tell him how it makes me feel when I get a chance.  How I hate it when they are drinking......

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Day 1 - 290.8 lbs

03 Oct 09
Yesterday I saw the movie Julia & Julie and thought if she could cook her way through a cookbook in one year by blogging perhaps it would work for me as a journey to weight lose. I've tried lots of other methods but never really been accountable to anyone but myself. This will make me accountable to the world. Today I weighed in at 190.8 pounds on a 5 foot 1 inch frame. Talk about being overweight! So if you are reading this and wish to share a comment I ask that you do not be rude or judgmental. Rather encouraging and helpful. Each day I will post my food plan and activities. By doing this I make a commitment to you the readers and to myself to ensure that I stick to it and get it done. I have one year from today to reach my goal weight of 155 pounds. Can I do it? That remains to be seen but with God's help and your encouragement I do so hope so.

Well it's been a busy day so far. Done the grocery shopping and cleaned up the yard before the snow comes. Did my grocery shopping from a list today which is totally out of the norm for me as usually I just wing it. Made out my food plan this morning for the next week and only bought what I needed. That's a new concept as well.

Today my food plan has consisted of:

1 slice dry whole wheat toast
1 egg fried in non stick pan with vegetable spray
1 container 0 fat yogurt
1 cup cranberry/raspberry juice

Salad made with:
2 oz cooked shrimp
2/3 cup couscous
2 spears asparagus steamed
5 grape tomatoes

4 oz canned grapefruit

2 oz grilled steak
1 cup potatoes au grautin
1 cup french green beans
1 1/4 cups cubed watermelon

Well that's it for the day. Seems like a nice healthy mixture of food. Seemed to satisfy, but this is only day one. I am sure that the cravings will return with a vengence once I am a little more relaxed. But for now it is one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. There was a bit of a struggle earlier this afternoon. I really wasn't hungry but had a terrible urge to eat, I had a cup of green tea instead and that did the trick.