Sunday, January 31, 2010

Day 122 - 283.4 lbs

Yes, you read it right there has been a gain.  I knew it was going to happen sooner or later and it is definitely due to over indulgence and lack of activity.  I woke up this morning with swollen hands and feet, varicose viens that are popping and bleeding and a stomach as hard as a rock from IBS.  So how did this happen?  Well my thought is because I was not careful and thought I was invinceable and could fly by the seat of my pants and as long as the scale didn't go up I was winning.  WRONG!!!!  I am definitely not invinceable and flying by the seat of my pants has proven that my pants are too tight and I need to be more concious of what the heck I am doing.  Don't get me wrong I am not beating myself up as sometimes bodies have a way of doing their own thing regardless of what you do.  IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) is one of the worst side effects of being horribly overweight.  You suffer from days of no movement or horrible sudden bursts of too many movements.  (I really am trying to be delicate here with my wording as I do not want to offend anyone).  The swelling in the hands and feet comes from sitting on my butt yesterday and ingesting diet soda which contains aspertime and is a no no for me.  Do I know better than to drink it - well of course I do, but you know it is diet so it can't really hurt me right?  There's that invincible thinking again.  As for the veins popping and bleeding, well that's a new one and I wonder if anyone else has ever had that happen?

So where did I go wrong?  I'm not sure as I tried to really be careful yesterday and eat lots of veggies with dip (I didn't prepare it so I'm not sure if it was low cal or not).  I did have a small amount of cake but it was no more than a total of maybe 4 bites between the 2 parties.  I do know that I got next to no exercise yesterday and could really feel it this morning as my muscles feel like spaghetti. 

It's hard when you are 150 pounds overweight to look at each day and say I did something right or wrong because how do you really know.  What I think is right could be totally wrong and vice versa.  I read the many blogs that people are posting about their great loses and I will admit I do get a little discouraged at times.  I even try to put myself in their place and ask myself if I do what they are doing would I be that successful?  Then my reasonability kicks in and tells me that each person is totally different mentally, physically and spiritually and what works for them may not work for me.  I do know that if I can get some more pounds off my IBS should settle down and that I cannot take one day off from exercising and for gosh sakes leave the diet soda alone.  I know it bothers me so why was I so stupid especially when there was plenty of water available. 

We have a dinner theatre performance to go to today with friends and I have made up my mind it will be vegetables and protein only and absolutely no dessert table.  Water with lots of ice.  And if people around me don't like it well that will be too bad for them.  I am no longer going to let people talk me into doing things I do not want to (oh, come on have a little piece of cake, it's his birthday.....etc, etc, etc).

Will let you know how it goes when we get back.

For those of you who have joined my sight as followers if you have your own blog site could you please let me know which one it is.  I have a list of about 30 on my favorites but I cannot keep track of them all on a daily basis and I do want to support you as much as you do me.  I started out just following Stacey's but I found lots more and ended up adding them to my list and now don't know who's is who's.  I definitely need to shorten the list and the first one to go will be Stacey's.  If I gained anything from her it was that you have to honest with people who support you.  Don't pack up and run away just because you have a bad day(s) or you don't like what people are writing.  Without support we are nothing and hiding does not help us accomplish our goals.  I feel a bit sorry for her but I'm also angry with her as when I first found her site I thought wow someone struggling like me and letting the world know and help her.  Now it seems like it was all about the publicity and not about us.  You won't see me on GMA or in the papers so the only way you can follow me is here and I welcome all suggestions and criticisms with an open mind and heart.

Some good news from yesterday, so it wasn't a total bust, I am going to be a grandmother again, so one more reason to get off my duff and get healthy in order to see these precious little ones grow up.  Thank you God for giving me another day to realize how much I would miss if I wasn't here.

Dinner theatre went ok but it could have been better.  I did manage salad and protien and hope I did not overdo the protien.  I had some scrambled eggs and a small slice of roast pork with raw veggies and salad.  I did manage to almost avoid the dessert table but that was where they had the fruit as well so it was hard just to go for the fruit and pass on all the yummy desserts but I did it.  I can think about them now and go I am glad I did it but it sure was not easy at the time.

Megan, glad to see you have your blog page fixed so that we can now post on it.  Was hoping you would see the messages as there was no other way of getting ahold of you.  Hoping everyone has an absolutley wonderful day tomorrow, I know I'm going to.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Day 121 - 280.8 lbs

As you can see from the food list of yesterday I went off on a tangent.  Why, I have several reasons but none of them are good enough to be used as excuses.  I was really tired when I got home and hubby had been dealing with one of our rental units that required some major work in it.  Let me back up here a bit so that you have the whole story.

We have 3 duplex rental units as investment property.  One particular unit seems to have a curse on it because if anything is gonna go wrong it will be with this unit.  At the end of last month we discovered that the new heating system we installed less than 3 years ago was a dud so we had to replace it to the tune of $10,000.  The renters in the top unit moved out and stiffed us for 4 months rent.  So well waiting for the new heating system to arrive the old one blew a pump gasket and caused all kinds of water damage to the walls.  And due to the unit being empty, insurance does not cover.  Hang on it gets better.  So because I work full time and cannot get to the cleaning we have to hire it done - $600 later and we still have to get the handyman in to fix some little things, the oven needs to be fixed and get the carpets cleaned, probably all totaled another $1000.  So in the past 4 months a loss of income of $8000 and expenses of $20,000 (mortgage and taxes still had to be paid even though it was empty).

I got home yesterday afternoon and got a call from hubby saying that the cleaning was going to be $200 more than originally thought.  I blew a gasket and there was no one here to listen to me except the dogs and they really don't care.  So I said screw it and headed to the cupboard.  Ate two peanut butter sandwiches before I could stop myself.  I did stop though and that is a bonus on my part because normally I would have continued on and ate the whole loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter so that was a new step for me.  As I said none of what happened is a good enough reason to go on a binge but at least I did manage to stop before it got way out of hand.

When I started this blog I said I would be honest and I will be.  It will not do me or any of you any good if I am not.  And even in spite of my little tantrum and losing it I stayed the same so that gives me hope that today will be a better day.  We have 2 birthday parties to go to so I am going to have to be really, really careful what I do.  Now all I have to decide is what am I going to eat today.  Thinking I need to up my protien a bit and less carbs for my meals and hopefully that will counteract the birthday parties.  Will keep you posted.

Breakfast
1 egg fried in non-stick pan with Pam
1 slice processed cheese
1 slice whole wheat toast
4 oz canned mandarin orange pieces

Lunch
HealthyChoice Gourmet Steamer General Tao's Spicy Chicken (300 calories)
1 raw yellow pepper

Well survived the granddaughter's birthday, had some veggies and dip, a very small piece of cake that I shared with the birthday girl and about 4 small swallows of a Lime Pepsi (daughter forgot to get diet soda).  So all in all not too bad.  The big test comes now as we are off to the adult party.  Had a small piece of hard cheese just now and will try really hard to continue with the veggies.  Wish me luck.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Day 120 - 280.8 lbs

Tina, thanks for your comments.  Wow you are a trooper, reading my whole blog, hope you weren't to bored.  I see where I recorded my start weight wrong so have gone back and corrected it.....was wishful thinking on my part.  I agree with you on all the things you mentioned.  Processed food is not a good thing but rather than skipping a meal it does suffice, but you are correct, moderation is the key.  The plateau doesn't bother me as I have been exercising more so that is most likely the cause of it.  I post my weight daily for now as it keeps me focused but starting on Monday it will only be once a week.  I don't want to be married to the scale but I need it every once in awhile.  You are correct I will not reach my goal in the time remaining but will stay focused on it for now.  When I first started this blog I was so going to do this but I've had a few set backs, all of my own doing, and lost some time.  But like a great cook, if it doesn't turn out right the first time, throw it out and keep trying.  I will admit that a lot of my set backs were just because I went off on my binges for whatever reason.  Not an excuse but definitely something to try to get under control and with the job change and some other things going on I believe that it will happen, not overnight but in the days to come.

Breakfast
1 pkg instant regular oatmeal
1/2 cup 1% milk
100 g yogurt

Lunch
1 oz hard cheese
Smart Choice Seasame Chicken (330) calories
1/2 cup mixed fruit

Dinner
4 oz baked chicken
1/2 cup mashed potatoes
1 cup cooked beets

And this is where I blew it, after work I had 2 peanut butter sandwiches. 

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Day 119 - 280.8 lbs

Up early this morning as I am going to start working an extra hour a day so that we can stay caught up.  There are still 6 positions that haven't been filled in my office so the work load is double for most of us.  My boss was good about it when I told her I would put in some extra time to help out.  She ok'd it but no more than 1 extra hour a day.  It's so much different than my last position where they would take advantage of you every chance they got.

You'll notice I have plateaued this morning which is really no big deal at least it's not a gain.  I know my meal plans look pretty boring but I just keep thinking it is only fuel for my body.  As long as it tastes good then what difference does it matter if it is the same thing every day.  With that said, I ran out of bananas so breakfast is gonna be a little different today.

Breakfast
1 cup mini wheat cereal
1/2 cup 1% milk
100 g yogurt

Lunch
Garden salad with 1 tablespoon calorie wise dressing
1 ounce hard cheese
1/2 cup tuna
1/2 canned fruit

Dinner
3 oz beef tenderloin with onions and mushrooms in a light gravy
1/2 cup mashed potatoes
1/2 cup kernel corn
1 cup green beans

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Day 118 - 280.8 lbs

Had a good sleep last night so feel refreshed and invigorated this morning. 

Breakfast
100 g yogurt
1/2 banana

Lunch
Garden Salad (romaine lettuce, carrots, cucumber, orange pepper)
1/2 cup cottage cheese
1 pkg Thinsations cheese nips (100 calories)
1/2 cup canned mixed fruit

Dinner
1 cup of spaghetti with a light tomato sauce
1 cup cooked mixed green/yellow beans and carrots
2 Maple Leaf fully cooked Sausage Rounds (180 calories)

Normally I would not eat the Sausage Rounds but because hubby took supper out of the freezer and got the only container of spaghetti in there we didn't have any protien for supper.  I don't believe it will kill me or make me gain so not going to sweat it.

Got in a 15 minute walk today and going to go play with my Wii Fit.  It was just a little too cold to walk outside, the wind was a little on the bitter side but I did brave it.

Meagan, if you are reading this please note that no one can leave a comment for you on your site.  Not sure why but can you e-mail me at hhtessa@hotmail.com, thanks.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Day 117 = 281.2 lbs

Welcome to all my new followers, wow so great to see everyone.  Hope I don't bore you all to tears.  I can sometimes go off on a tangent when things tick me off so beware. 

Extremely tired today.  Woke up at 2:30 a.m. and could not go back to sleep, so read for a bit then tossed and turned.  Did manage to get a little bit more sleep but definitely feeling the effects of it this afternoon.  I do have my 12 step meeting tonight but don't think I will be able to make it.  I'm absolutely bushed.

Breakfast
100 g yogurt
1/2 banana

Lunch
Healthy Choice Gourmet Steamer - Asian Five Spice Beef and Vegetables (280 calories)
1 pkg Quaker mini crips (90 calories)
1/2 cup canned fruit cocktail

Dinner
1 1/2 cups of homemade navy bean and ham soup
2 slices whole wheat toast with 1 tsp margarine

Ok, now I know I am tired.  I just tried to finish posting for the day and hit the wrong button and poof it was totally gone.  Not only was the post gone so is the train of thought I had going....grr.  I did skip my meeting tonight and going to head off to bed here in just a very few minutes.

I managed to get in 25 minutes of snow shoveling and a 15 minute walk today.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Day 116 - 281.6 lbs

Breakfast
100 g yogurt
1/2 banana

Lunch
Michelina's Meat Loaf (210 calories)
1 pkg Quaker Mini Bites (90 calories)
1/2 cup canned mangos

Dinner
Garden Salad with 1 tablespoon Ranch dressing
Dry Ribs (small serving)

Well it's been a good day so far.  Have weigh in tonight at my support group so we will see what the verdict is.  I always weigh in the morning so my scale is definitely different than the one at group, but I feel confident that it too shall show a loss.  It's snowing and being miserable here but what can you expect it is winter.  It does stop me from walking on my coffee breaks though as I have such a fear of slipping and falling with this stupid artifical knee.  We are doing exercises tonight at group so that will make up some of the difference and I will have more snow to shovel in the morning.  My eye feels so much better today, the new drops worked miracles, no more burning and itching.

Good weigh in tonite, down 5 pounds.  Now to keep the momentum going, had a really good support group meeting.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Day 115 - 281.8 lbs

What a day!  Started out ok, doing laundry and getting things in place for next week.  Eyes were still burning and itching so I went to the clinic and I have a nasty eye infection.  So got some strong drops and if it is not better by Tuesday I will need to go on oral antibiotics.  Crap I really hate those things so hoping the drops work.

Put a lovely pork roast in the oven for supper and then the phone rang.  It was my dad complaining of chest pains and not feeling good.  So off I go to take him to the hospital.  That was at 4 p.m., it is not 10:30 and I have just gotten home.  I am exhausted and still have laundry to finish  before I can go to bed and I have to work in the morning.  Oh well guess I will suck it up and do it, at least my dad is ok, they think it is probably acid reflux.

So needless to say my food has been a mess today.  Breakfast was fine and so was lunch but it was late.  I have just had dinner and totally wrecked it as it is so late.  Back on track tomorrow.

Breakfast
100 g yogurt
1/2 banana

Lunch
1 1/2 cups homemade navy bean and ham soup
1 mandarin orange
1 pkg Quaker Crispy Delights (90 calories)

Dinner
2 roast pork sandwiches on whole wheat bread with mustard

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Day 114 - 282.2 lbs

It looks as if things are looking up.  The scale is starting to come down.  I even had a very small piece of ice cream cake last night for the neighbor's son's birthday.  And it was unbelievable that I ate that small piece and didn't even have a craving for more.  Maybe there is something to having the "live as if" attitude.

Breakfast
100 g yogurt
1/2 banana
1 cup maxachinno

Lunch
1 pg Weight Watchers Smart Ones Cranberry Turkey Medallions (250 calories)
1 small orange pepper - raw
1 latte (80 calories)

Dinner
1.5 cup homemade Navy Bean and Ham soup

Went to the neighbor's for more birthday celebration.  Took my 3 cheese dip and only had a tablespoon or so and a very small piece of chocolate cake.  I am learning that you do not have to deprive yourself of the things you like, just watch how much you eat.  We had a bowl of soup prior to going over and I found that this worked as I was not hungry when I got there so therefore not tempted to over indulge.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Day 113 - 283.4 lbs

Not sure if anyone else has been having problems signing into their blog sites but every time I went to sign in I would get an error message.  I am surprised that it let me in tonight.  Hope this is a good sign and whatever the problem is has been fixed.

Well it's been a few days since I blogged but things have been not too bad.  I had a few days of ups and downs but have decided that I'm not going to get struck by lightning if I had an off day.  The new job is going fantastic and I can hardly believe how the days have flown.  I've been there 2 weeks already.  It's a great learning curve and they have given me some of my responsibilities as well as I have a computer and a phone now so I feel like I'm back in the real world.  Been walking nearly everyday, only once today as the sidewalks were slippery and I am petrified of falling.  Going to work out on the Wii for a bit tonight to make up for it.

Breakfast
100 g yogurt
1 small mandarin orange

Lunch
2 cups salad (lettuce, orange peppers, carrots) with 1 tablespoon calorie wise dressing
1/2 cup cottage cheese
1 small mandarin orange
1 pkg Cheese Nips (100 calories)

Dinner
Healthy Choice Gourmet Steamer Sweet Sesame Chicken (330 calories)

Dinner was a little on the lazy side tonight as hubby is off at a bike show.  I stopped at the store on the way home and picked up some of these as well as Smart Choice meals.  They come in handy when hubby is away or for lunch on the weekends.  They also keep my calorie count and portion sizes under control.  Not the best tasting but I can live with that.

Going to relax this evening as it's been a hectic week and I also have an eye that is bothering me.  I think I just got cold in it, I picked up some antibiotic drops from the pharmacy.  Will see how it is tomorrow, if not any better will probably head to the clinic to get it checked.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Day 105

Breakfast

2/3 cup mini wheats
1/2 cup 1% milk
100 g yogurt

Lunch
egg salad sandwich
1 cup Italian Wedding soup
6 oz V8 juice
1/2 cup canned mangos

Dinner
1 hot dog in bun
1/2 cup pasta with clam sauce

Snack
bran muffin
1/2 cup apple juice

Only got in one walk at work today but did 45 minutes on the Wii tonight.  Was awake at 4 this morning so hoping to be able to sleep all night tonight.  Busy at work and now doing things on my own so not much time to get into things that can be harmful.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Day 104

Breakfast

3/4 cup shreddies with 3 oz milk & 1/2 teaspoon white sugar
100 gr yogurt

Lunch
egg salad sandwich
1 cup Italian Wedding Soup
1/2 cup canned mangos
6 oz V8 juice

Dinner
sweet & sour pork (approx. 3 oz cubed pork with celery, onion and yellow pepper in homemade sauce)
1/2 cup white rice
1 cup cauliflower

Snack
bran muffin
1/2 cup apple juice

Another very good day.  Work was exciting and I love being there.  Managed to get in a 15 minute walk.  As well I finally got the Wii up and running (needed to hunt down batteries as everyting was dead) so did 20 minutes of fit training and challenged hubby to 3 games of bowling, of which he won two.  If I can keep up this momentum I will be seeing some results soon.  I have to remember to live "As If".

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Day 103

So I am wondering just how important is dieting to losing weight.  At work today all the ladies in the lunchroom were either talking about different diets or drinking special smoothies or power drinks.  I think I was the only one there with a modest sensible meal of salad, protien and fruit.  It seems as if the work is fixated on dieting and not so much on getting healthy and living a good life.  And on top of it all I was chatting with the lady I am training with and she was telling me about the Idiot Diet that her and her mate have been on for awhile now.  It sounded so good I decided that maybe my hubby and I should try it.  So I can home got on the internet and followed the steps on how to make a meal plan and printed it out.  All of a sudden I got a feeling that this was just another waste of time and money because there is not way that a person could make this a life time eating plan and be happy with it.  So I think that one is going out the window and back to the basics of good eating.

At our 12 step meeting this evening the leader went through her thoughts regarding abstenence and dieting in relation to the 12 steps of recovery and that really brought home some important points.  Living healthy isn't all about the diet and exercise but being able to handle the stresses that cause the overeating in the first place.  Wow what a concept.

My other question is how important is it that I post what I am eating daily on this blog?  Do you really care what I am eating and will it be of any assistance to me in the long run?  I have to think about this and mull it over with my sponsor to see if perhaps I need to get another approach to how I am handling this.  Perhaps it's just the journaling that is important to my recovery and weight lose. 

Monday, January 11, 2010

Day 102

Wow what a difference a new job can make in attitude.  Had a great day today, ate sensibly and even got in a 10 minute walk this afternoon.  Went into the job with a can do attitude and it worked.  Instead of constantly saying "don't know if I will ever get this" I asked lots of questions and if I wasn't sure of the answer then I'd ask for clarification instead of brow beating myself.  Took my last coffee break of the day and went for a 10 minute walk.  It's a start.

Breakfast
100 g yogurt
1 slice dry whole wheat toast
1 teaspoon grape jelly

Lunch
2 cups salad (lettuce, cucumber, yellow pepper) with 1 tablespoon Italian dressing
1/2 cup cottage cheese
1/2 cup canned peaches

Dinner
4 oz baked chicken breast
1/2 cup rice
8 spears of asparagus

Snack
bran muffin
green tea

Had my support meeting tonight and weighed in with a 2.6 lb lose.  Now I just have to keep the momentum up and keep it off plus a little more.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Day 101 - 284,2 lbs

Had a pretty good day today, really accomplished a lot.  Made 10 reheat dinners for the freezer, washed my vehicle, fueled up, finished laundry and cleaned house.  Did not get the Wii Fit set up even though I had really good intentions.  Tomorrow starts a brand new beginning and a brand new job.  I am so excited don't know if I will be able to sleep tonight.  Even have my lunch ready and waiting in the fridge.  Really going to work on this being organized thing.  Maybe then I can concentrate on other things.  This week will be really busy as usual with support group tomorrow night and 12 step on Tuesday but I feel better about it now that I have my meals in the freezer.  Hopefully that will alleviate some of the stress.

This week I really have to concentrate on my 12 week homework and get back in touch with my sponsor.  She is a great lady but I don't seem to call her enough.  But that is all gonna change this week because now I am determined to make a change for the better.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Day 100 - 288.4 lbs

Well almost 1/3 of the way through this challenge and what have I done?  Lost 2.4 lbs, which I guess is better than a gain but not much.  I decided that today I needed to get really organized as I start a brand new job on Monday and this gives me an opportunity to start fresh with everything.  Today and tomorrow are going to be cleansing days and then Monday starting a whole new life style.  My new office has no cafeteria in it so won't be tempted to over indulge there.  Going to do some meal preparations for next week so that all I have to do is reheat after work.  Will be especially helpful on Monday and Tuesday's when I have my support and 12 step meetings.  Always seems like I am flying in, getting ready for the meeting and forgetting about eating a proper meal.  This way hubby can pop it in the oven before I get home and I can prepare a salad or vegetables and done.  Looking forward to going back to work full time in one way and in another there is a lose of flexibility of the part time hours. 

Today I am putting away the rest of the Christmas decorations, cleaning house and doing laundry.  Later this evening going to dig out the Wii Fit and set up an exercise program that I can do 3 - 4 times a week without the cost of membership.  I always spend money on things with the thoughts of using it and then it gathers dust.  Time to make a change there as well.  Also, going to start doing a 10 - 15 minute walk at lunch time during the week.  Time to get moving.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Day 97

Where have I been for the past 5 days?  Good question, if I was an alcoholic you would say I had been on a bender, but what do you say when you are a food addict and go off on a binge?  I have no clue what got into me.  My sponsor asked me last night what had triggered it and I could think of a few things or now I wonder if they are just excuses for my lack of control.

I've been angry the past several days.  I wonder why everyone seems to think that I am a pillar of strength and they all need to lean on me.  First there is my support group of which I am the leader.  So I mentioned at meeting on Monday night that elections were coming up in a couple of months and they should be thinking about getting a replacement for me as I am tired and with going back to work full time not sure I can make the time commitment.  First words I heard "Well if you don't do it then the group will fold".  Horsefeathers, there are 29 other members besides myself, how about one of them stepping up to the plate.

Then there is my 12 step program.  I went to the meeting last Tuesday night thinking that perhaps during my absence in December they would have done sorting and packing as we were moving to a new location the 1st of the year.  Well guess what?  Not a damn thing had been done.  So I organized the sorting and packing, put all the stuff in my vehicle and transported it to the new location for last night's meeting.  And during that week I had about 5 phone calls expecting me to make arrangements for keys, etc.  Then when I showed some people where the supplies were to be kept I got "I don't think that will be enough space".  Get real people, I'm one person and not superwoman.  I get tired of always being responsible for making sure things get done.  Can't anyone else take responsibility for some of this.

And then there is the whole thing with me working at the hospital so I should be able to fit in visits to ailing family members, support group members and friends that are patients, all because I work there so it is convenient for me.  I would love to just be able to go and visit when I want to not because it is expected of me.  Can't wait till next week when I no longer work there and then maybe I can just go an visit because I want to.

There do I feel any better, I guess.  They say journaling is good for you and relieves the stress of things in your life.  Right now you will have a really hard time convincing me of that.  The past couple of days have been better than the first few of the year and I am looking forward to my new job.  One nice thing about it is that there is no cafeteria there so I will have to pack my lunch.  Hubby got me an Ipod for Christmas so I plan on taking part of my lunch break and walking even if only for half a block at a time.

Christmas brought me a steamer and a Tassimo coffee machine which are going to help greatly.  I have been using the steamer almost daily and really enjoy the natural taste of the foods that I have cooked in it.  As for the Tassimo machine it allows me to have my Latte's and Cappichino's that I like for less than 70 calories per serving and I only use it on the weekends it is great.  Also, it makes a great cup of green tea which I have been enjoying.

Will I make my goal in a year, definitely not at the rate I am going but I am going to keep trying.  I even went and bought some new clothes for next week.  Was disappointed that I was unable to find any dress pants that weren't pull ons.  I have come too far in my struggle to ever go back to wearing pull on pants.  Forget it, it is not happening.  So I bought some tops and will keep looking for some pants.  Of course, the obvious answer would be to drop 20 pounds then I could get into all the ones I have in my closet.  Good idea, maybe I will just do that.

Stick with me ladies, I am here and I am determined just need to get organized and do it.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Day 92 - 287 lbs

Happy New Year everyone.  Wow the start of a brand new year and with God's grace I will be able to accomplish all the things that are dear to me.  Number 1 is to get back on track and keep this blog up on a daily basis.  I have been really neglectful over the past while and as I am sure you can see by my weight it has had a very negative result in that area.  New and wonderful things have happened over the past several weeks and made me realize there are things that I want to ensure I am around for.  First is my new job starting January 11th, I am so excited.  I have been rather stale dated in my current position and felt that perhaps it was part of the reason I was so depressed.  I started to apply on some positions in different areas with my current employer and low and behold I actually got accepted for one.  This is not me bashing myself but rather being in amazement.  They say once you hit a certain age employers don't want to hire you as they feel you are starting to get ready for retirement and don't pay enough attention to detail.  Well I am here to tell you that I am 57 and the lady that will be my supervisor said she is looking forward to having me on her team and even went so far as to create a new position for myself and one other person because of our expertise in the area.  Wow.
Secondly, my son got engaged on Christmas day and the wedding is set for July of 2011 so I now have a very important event to work towards as well as getting my health in shape.  I have not felt this type of enthusiasm in some time. 
Today is a putting away day.  Time to take down the tree and find places for all the wonderful gifts I received.  I truly am blessed in so many ways. 

Breakfast
100 grams of fat free yogurt (35 calories)
1 egg, fried in non stick pan with vegetable spray
1 slice dry whole wheat toast
1/2 mandarin orange
1 Maxachinno (60 calories)

Lunch
2 cups green salad (romaine lettuce, cucumber and grape tomatoes)
1/2 cup cottage cheese
1/2 chicken soup with mini pasta

Dinner
4 oz pork tenderloin
1/2 cup steamed turnips
1/2 cup mashed potatoes
1 tablespoon gravy

Didn't get as much done today as I planned but not going to sweat over it, will finish up tomorrow.  Had a good day.