Sunday, October 23, 2011

Where does time go?

Time seems to slip away faster and faster every day.  When I was a kid it seemed to take forever for Christmas to arrive and now poof it's gone one year and here already the next.  Are our lives busier or just what makes this happen?

Seems like I was just posting here yesterday but of course that is not the case.  I cannot believe how long it's been.

TOPS weigh in last week saw me down another 1.8 pounds and loser of the week for the 2nd week in a row.  Also got a charm for coming back with a lose after my birthday.  I am struggling there is no doubt about it but if I can just do this in little spurts I may make it.  I am also attending a Health Basics class with Primary Care Network on Wednesday evenings for the 8 weeks.  I started last week.  It's kinda boring because it is all the stuff I know about healthy living, eating right, getting more exercise but my doctor wanted me to take it and see if it would motivate me.  Not gonna write it off yet.

We are still enjoying beautiful weather here, +15C during the daytime.  We got my garage all cleared out so that I can park in it.  No more frosty windows, saves on gas as well.

We have a meeting with the bank this week to see about some refinancing.  Hopefully it will suceed in cutting our mortgage payments in half.  That would help so so much at this point in the game.  But as usual not looking for a silver lining till I see the cloud.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

When life hands you lemons ..........

make lemonade!!!  So today is the day after my birthday, yesterday was a great day!  We went out for lunch with my folks and I did really well (steak sandwich - 7 oz sirloin steak, bean and carrot veggies, 1/2 slice garlic toast and garden salad w/small dab of dressing).  Then, oh oh, here comes the kicker(s) - restaurant gives free dessert to birthday diners - yep, I did, mango cheesecake.  Then my Mom made an apple dessert that I could not resist - even though she made it with Splenda it still had lots of calories in the crust.  Why, oh why do I do this to myself.  Excuse - it was my birthday!  Acceptable excuse - not really.

So today I am starting to be a good girl and work my program without treats (thanks Dawn you really motivated me).  We really don't need anything but basic food to fuel our bodies, so why can't I put that in motion?  Hubby and I had this discussion the other day.  I think in the back of my mind I don't look in a mirror and see the flab.  I see what I want to see and believe what I want to believe no matter how detrimental it may be.

I downloaded SparksPeople onto my i-pod so I can track my calories and weight on a daily basis.  I'm also going to start using my Wii at least half an hour a day. 

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Clearing up the Unknown ....

Ok, I think I may have somehow gave the impression that hubby's diabetes is out of control.  Yes, in a way it is but not because he is not eating properly.  He follows a very strict diabetic diet.  Unfortunately, with his pain level so high and no relief it throws his blood sugars out.  He's been diabetic for over 20 years so knows how important it is to look after his diet. 

Diabetes is a strange affliction.  When he is going to get sick his body gives him a sign by increasing his blood sugars.  It does this as a reaction to the change in his immune system.  So in order to get diabetes under control you have to get the rest of the body to cooperate.  Much easier said than done when the doctor's won't listen and give him something for pain relief.

Here is an example:  Today he got up and had breakfast, pre sugar level was 6.5 which is average and good for him.  We went to run a few errands and get our passports renewed.  This involved doing a fair amount of walking, which is extremely difficult for him.  He had his morning snack of fruit and by the time we got home for lunch he had a major migraine and he could hardly walk.  Pre lunch blood sugars at 16.  This was not due to his not eating properly but rather due to his body reacting to the pain from walking and the headache.

Once he had lunch and managed to rest for awhile, they returned to normal.  So as you can see diabetes is not a disease that effects everyone the same.  If you would like to check out the Plant Diet you can go to and read through the propaganda and view the sample diet.

His current health issues have nothing to do with his diabetes other than at times the pain makes his blood sugars wonky.  Believe me we are very careful with what and how much he eats.  We follow a diabeteic guide to meals to the T, as it is so important.  Unfortunately, his doctor does not seem to know anything about it especially since he recommended this plant diet.

As for getting another opinion we have done that numerous times and now they are fighting about what they think the diagnosis is.  He had blood work done today to test for liver disease, lupus and autoimmune disease.  We'll get the results next week.

I had a great day today as I was able to spend the afternoon with my granddaughters.  I hadn't seen Alex since her baptism in June and now she is walking.  But they both had lots and lots of hugs and kisses for Nana.

Got lots of exercise today just walking from place to place trying to get passport renewals done.  Our city is getting so big and they moved the Service Canada office so we ended up driving all over to find it.  But they are off and hopefully we'll get them back in a month or so.

Last day of holidays tomorrow, time went by too quicky.  But at least I have finally learnt how to sleep through the night again.  In fact lazy old me didn't get up till 8:30 this morning!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

TOPS WI Last Night

Weighed in at TOPS last night - 284.4, which was down 2.2 lbs from the week before.  Not going to get crazy and do anything stupid.  Just gonna keep trying to cut and burn 100 calories per day.  Slow and steady wins the race.  I know I need to exercise but I am so tired all the time and realize it is because I am carrying around another person.  I just have to stay focused and remember Rome was not built in a day nor did I put all this weight on in a day.

There are all kinds of body shapes, genetics, medical conditions, etc that effect how the body handles the fuel we give it.  We have to find the reason for the gain and then deal with it.  Hubby being sick has definitely put a strain on my being able to focus on my weight loss.  I have managed to stay within a couple of pounds each week and I am proud of myself for doing that.  It is a small victory but a victory just the same.

Depression is a horrid affliction.  It can be a silent killer sometimes.  I fight everyday to keep my thoughts on the important things and not let the things I can do nothing about take over and make me crazy.  One day at a time is my goal, to get a good night's sleep, eat healthy and be supportive to my hubby.  I am trying hard not to let his negativity affect me.  It is hard for him, sick almost 4 years and still no diagnosis. 

Some of the things that the doctor wants him to do make no sense to us.  First and formost hubby is a diabetic.  When he seen the doctor the last time he wanted him to go on an all plant diet.  We scoped out the diet on line and it is made up of nothing but carbohydrates, potatoes, rice, pasta, bread.  I can just imagine what that would do to his blood levels.  Does this doctor not realize that he needs a balanced diet?  Not only would his blood levels be out of whack but he's gain back quickly the 50 pounds he just lost.

I've been attempting to cook more and avoid eating out.  It's really too expensive and definitely not healthy.  I have been slacking off on the cooking and we have been doing what we call "fin fors".  Everyone fends for themselves.  This also leads to really bad eating habits.  So I am now making a really concentrated effort to cook meals.  The funny part is, I normally only have to cook 3 times a week as we always manage to get 2 meals out of whatever i make.  How hard is it to prepare leftovers .... NOT!

Sunday, October 9, 2011


HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all my Canadian Friends.

Yesterday we had our yard sale and it went fairly well, much better than the one a couple of weeks ago.  For that we are thankful.

Today is a big day in our family.  Hubby and I celebrate our anniversay, oldest daughter's 1st year anniversary and youngest daughter's birthday.  Again so many things to be thankful for. 

We decided that we would take a run to Costco for some fresh fruit and veggies and then maybe find an inexpensive place to have lunch to celebrate both our anniversary and Thanksgiving.  I've been doing really well this week with being careful with my food so will have to watch where we go and what we order.

It's been a wonderful day and one of the best anniversaries I've had.  We went to Costco to do some shopping then decided to go to Tony Roma's for lunch.  I was so good, I only ate half of my meal cuz I knew I needed to account for the pumpkin pie I would be having later. 

Came home and put groceries away, put a roast in the the oven for dinner and had a cat nap.  Just starting veggies to go with roast when my sister and her family dropped by for a visit.  They stayed for dinner and we played some games. 

All is quiet now, so going to head off to bed and do a little reading and relaxing.  Thank you God for blessings large and small!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Next Step ......

When comtemplating life one needs to always be mindful of those less fortunate than themselves.  I've been moaning and groaning so much lately that I totally forgot that even though I have problems there is someone out there much worse off than I am. 

It will be a hard weekend with no Thanksgiving celebrations but that's ok cuz there are hundreds of others in exactly the same situation.  I can still be thankful for God's blessings, my job, my health and that we still have our home.  The next few weeks will be rough but I pray that things will work out.

Getting back to the real reason for my blog is what is important now.  I've been holding my own with my weight but definitely need to take a long hard look at things.  My biggest issue is how do you exercise when you absolutely hate the word.  I can't seem to find the conviction to get into excercise mode.  I have all kinds of Wii games and two good feet but the ambition eludes me.  Any suggestions? 

I've been really watching what I'm eating.  Last night I did butter chicken with two chicken breasts and we had enough left over for our lunch today.  Hard to believe considering we used to be able to polish off twice that amount in a meal and we don't even care for chicken that much.

One of the ladies from the church dropped by my office on Tuesday and brought in some fresh garden vegetables.  They were so good and definitely welcome.  We have not had to use the food bank yet and I keep praying that will never become an issue.  I stocked up on case lots when we had a few extra dollars so we should be good for the winter.

I'm tired tonight so hoping I can sleep the night through.  Been waking up at 1 or two and not been able to go back to sleep.  Makes for a long day at work.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I'm here ............

Hard to believe it's been over two months since I last posted on here.  I know I should have been here every day but went through a horrible period of depression.  Doctor put me on anti-depressants and they made me terribly sick.  My stomach got all screwed up and I developed rash like patches all over my body.  So I stopped taking them and my stomach straightened out and the rash went away.  Still suffering from mild depression but can handle it better than the side effects.

I have been reading your blogs just not posting here or comments.  I actually came in one day to visit Margie's sight to see if her daughter had posted any updates and the link was gone ....... poof and Margie is no more.  How sad for those of us that loved reading her blogs.  I guess her family felt it was time to let them go, it's been almost a year.

Life is ok I guess.  Still working hard and managing to make it through each day.  Still no news from the doctors and hubby isn't getting any better.  Hired a disability lawyer so now just waiting on a response from the insurance company to the lawsuit we filed.  It's a sad day when you have to sue to get something you've paid into for years.

This is Thanksgiving weekend here but no celebrations at our house, we just can't afford it.  Told all the kids there would be no Christmas this year either.  Will try to get something for the little grandkids as they don't understand but the rest is on hold.  Just going to pretend that the day is just like any other.  Hardly making enough to cover our mortgage payment and utilitiy bills so definitely can't even think about Christmas.

TOPS is still going well.  We had our fall rally last Saturday.  It was nice to get away for the day and just have fun. 

Gonna try our garage sale again this weekend.  Did it two weeks ago and made a whole $35.00.  Hopefully this one will go better.