Saturday, May 8, 2010

Day 218 - Fell of the wagon .........

Yesterday afternoon I feel off the wagon and have been on a binge ever sense.  Evertything and anything that looks the least bit like food has found it's way into my mouth.  I have eaten so much that I am physically ill.  I am really annoyed with myself right at this moment.  I was doing so good, and even today I climbed back up and did real well till after lunch and then the devil took over.  I don't even remember what all I have had the displeasure of consuming.  Why?  I have no idea.  I can see myself reaching for things, telling myself I shouldn't and still doing it.  It is totally insane. 

I'm exhausted, emotionally and physically.  I'm not sleeping well at nights and I just want to sit down and have a good cry but that is not possible as hubby is always around and I don't want him to see me like that. 

Spent all day doing laundry and not much else.  Hubby had a good friend stop by and they worked on the chop bike for a couple of hours.  BBQ'd for supper and now just doing my blog entry before I go and watch a little TV.  Tomorrow we are going to Trev's for the day so that should be nice.  I made a banana cream pie to take.  Was going to make a coconut one as well but thought no because if I do, I'll be tempted to eat more than one piece and I really need to get back on track and fast.

4 comments:

  1. Tessa, that's just no good. Could you go for a walk and have your cry while away?
    I am so sorry you are having such a rough time.

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  2. Sounds just like my day Tessa, except you have this whole situation going on, and I don't know WHAT my problem is!

    I'm so sorry for what you are going through. If you need a cry, you need a cry. Go to your room, and let it out... I hate to admit it but I have had to go hide and have a cry before... the bathroom is good, the fan and a shower even more of a mask for the sound...
    :( I hate to be giving advise on how to cry, it really makes me sad. Usually I would say don't hide it, but I totally understand you want to stay strong for him... I would feel that way...

    Hang in there Tessa, we are all thinking of you and praying for you and your husband.

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  3. Enjoy your Mother's Day! Eat pie if you want and don't feel guilty! After all, it is Mother's Day!

    Remember the stress you put on yourself packs on pounds!

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  4. Hi Tessa. I know there is a lot going on, but I do hope you had a nice day...
    Happy Mother's Day!

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