Saturday, April 24, 2010

Day 204 - Don't go out of your way to please anyone, love yourself......

Sorry folks, I didn't post yesterday, just needed a bit of time to digest what is happening with hubby.  Usually it takes 6 - 9 months to get a CAT scan appointment, his is for Tuesday next week.  Obviously, the doctor thinks there is some urgency, which now has me really worried.  His attitude is good or else he is hiding it really well.  You would have to know him to understand, he is the king of one liners and they just keep coming.  Deep down I know he is concerned and he's trying to stay calm for me cause he knows what stress can do to my eating.  So far hanging in there, had a fairly normal day yesterday.  We did take out daughter out for dinner last evening, for Indian food, so I just picked at it.

I know I have to be really careful or my weight will go way up due to the stress and I am determined not to let it.  So today starts a very vigorous food and exercise plan to counteract the stress effects. 

Hubby decided he wanted to tell the kids, totally his decision.  Daughter #1 took it alright, even though her eyes gave her away.  Our girls are not biological and they came into our lives at an older age but no one would know that if we didn't tell them.  They are so precious to us and we will need them for support through this I am sure.  What a blessing that God brought them into our lives.

I want to thank you all for your support it means a lot to me, especially during this time.

1 cup corn bran cereal
2 oz milk

bowl cream of mushroom soup

1/2 10" Dr. Okter pepperoni pizza

It's been a long day, had no appetite, only ate because I know I have to.  #2 daughter and her fiance' were over and we told them as well as I told my son on the phone this morning.  It is so funny because the day just kinda went along and nothing has really changed.  Life goes on even though it is always there in the back of your mind.  I look at hubby and he doesn't look or act any different and yet I know there is something different because he has a foreign body growing in his head.  His biggest concern is if they have to operate they will find his alien implant and take it out  He's trying to keep his sense of humor but I can see the pain and worry in his eyes.  Is there some way a person can type crying when they are blogging?  I've shed a few tears today but never when he would see me.  I must be strong for him.


  1. You don't have to apologize to us! You do whatever it takes to get through this.

    I'm so glad you did write today though, I was thinking about you. ALSO, blogging could be therapeutic :)

    Tuesday may seem to take FOREVER to get here, but stay strong.
    I know you want to start a vigorous food and exercise plan, and exercise is good for stress!!!! I don't know what you have in mind for the food part, but I've always heard that if you don't have enough calories your body goes into "survival mode" and I believe that 100%. Since your already stressed, you don't want to stress out your body even more. So try to make sure you're getting enough...

    Hang in there Tessa.

  2. Hi Tessa, you are in my thoughts. Im proud of you for standing firm on your weight loss program. I hope your kids will be a great support to you and your hubby. I want to say, your hubby may be in shock, and the meltdown may come along later. In one part of my past, I was dealt a terrible shock (betrayal). I proceeded right on fine, and I thought I was coping perfectly well. About 10 days later, the effects of it actually hit me. The human mind is a mysterious thing. Hang in there girl!