Sunday, January 29, 2012

Insensitive People ...

I work for a local health authority and am progrm coordinator for a very special program.  Our program povides funds to clients that want to remain in their own homes rather than be institutionalized.  These clients have many different afflictions (quads, parapalegic, dementia, ALS, etc). 

I spend a great deal of my time connecting with these clients and their families assisting in what ever way I can.  Some are only a voice on the phone and others I have the pleasure of meeting in person.  I love my job and get a great deal of satisfaction when I can be of assistance no matter how small the task.

The one downside of my job is that I deal with the lose of these clients eventually.  So far this month I have had five clients go to eternal rest.  Besides my clients I am also dealing with a sick friend that has been admitted to pallitive care and an elderly aunt that has had two heart attacks and a stroke and is now in a coma.

I have always been able to deal with the situations but insensitive people are another story.  Why would someone say to me "You don't even know them, so why does it upset you?"  Have humans lost all sense of compassion for their fellow mankind?  It upsets me because I care.  I care about my clients and their families.  I care that they get treated fairly and in a manner that allows them to stay with their loved ones as long as possible.  I care because I am human and have a heart.

Since I started this position last April I have had 27 clients pass away.  Each family gets a card of condolence and a phone call to see if there is anything I can assist with.  Yes, it is part of my job and I get paid for doing it.  Does that mean I should act like a robot and not care?  I think not.

I have families that have to make a decision regarding putting a loved one in a care facility as they can no long keep them on the program due to their condition getting worse.  Does that mean when an only child calls and wants to talk because she has no family to turn to and her relationship with her mother has always been close that I should be cold and not give her my time?  I think not.  She is mourning the loss of her mother.  Even though she still has her physically there is no longer the mental connection due to mom's failing ability to even recognize her own daughter.  That first time that she asked who are you nearly torn this young woman's heart out.  What did I do?  I sat on the phone with her for almost an hour as she poured out her heart, I listened, I empathised.  At the end of the call I got "Thank you so much for listening to me, you are truly a special person."  Wow, thank you God for giving me the ability to listen.

I cannot always be of assistance but sometimes just a kind word or even a hug will turn a bad day to a good one for them.

So are you insensitive people listening?  Don't judge me for what I do and don't tell me that it shouldn't bother me when they pass away.  Maybe if you had a little more compassion in your heart you could reach out to some of these people as well.


  1. i agree there are alot of insensitive people out there anymore

  2. You are a gift to your position and I know that your clients know that.

    When my Mom passed away, eventhough it was expected, the hospice people, even the office personnel who had never met her in person, cried and we comforted eachother. They all came to her funeral [in SC] and I know that meant a lot to my family.

    There should be more sensitivity in this world. Not less. I think that is the problem.

    You're doing a great job - keep it up! :D

    [Sorry it took me so long to comment on this. I read it weeks ago and just now noticed I hadn't said "hi"! :D Hugs to you Tess.]

  3. Tess,
    I just came to your blog from quietly stalking skippymom (Hi Skippy!). I feel moved though to tell you that I am grateful that there are caring, loving people in the world like you. You are a true gift from God to these people that are going through these troubles. You are definitely the right person to be in that kind of job and while it may be emotionally draining for you - you are a true angel. Keep up the great work. There will be a special place for you in heaven. And I can just bet you won't have to deal with insensitive people there!