Catching Up

Do you often wonder where the time goes and how it manages to go quicker as we get older?  I know in reality that doesn't actually happen but it sure seems like it.  We get up in the morning and poof it's time to retire for the night.

So many things have hap;pened since I last did an actual post I'm not sure where to begin.  So will start with the highlights.

I finally got things straightened out with my grandson and now have had the pleasure of meeting my great grandson.  What a little character he is.  And in 10 more days we get to welcome his baby sister to the world, so excited.

My folks celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary last summer and have now made it to 66.  Mom says now she's gonna try for 70.  I hope she is right.  Can't imagine my world without them in it.

Hubby decided he had had enough of being unhealthy so started doing some research on various diets and came upon one that suited him.  He lost 86.5 lbs, no longer takes insulin or any medications.  Plus he was named the 2015 Alberta Provincial King for TOPS.  So proud of him.  Now if I could only find the will power to get there myself.

Hubby lost his youngest sister on July 3rd at the young age of 50.  It completely devastated him.  But we have to remind ourselves that she died as she lived and it was her choice.  We did end up with her wee Yorkie dog who has most definitely made it much easier on him.  They were very close.

Youngest son is getting married on August 27th and will have to accept his mom at the size she is cuz I really blew trying to lose the extra pounds.  Best I could do was 30 lbs and this is where I'm stuck at.

I'm Gonna Try This Again

Time keeps going by and nothing seems to really change.  Life just goes on and I just keep getting older.  Not that that is a bad thing, it's just a fact of life, no more no less.  Granted things could  be better but they could also be worse.

It's been over a year since I posted oin my blog.  And today I find I needed some space to tell the world how angry I am at losing my blogging friend Janine (Skippy).  She  passed away on Nov 3rd.  I know she is now free from that dreadful pain she had but it still doesn't somehow feel right.  I will miss her forever.

Again, really God ............

Ok, so this post is not about me but in a way it does affect me.  We have been losing a lot of you people of late for many reasons - cancer, accidents, suicide, etc.  It just doesn't make any sense to me and even though I know all things happen for a reason I still question His wisdom.  Which I really know I shouldn't so likely to get slapped upsaid the head for that.

August 13th changed the lives of one of our tenant families.  Let me digress here a minute - we have 3 duplexes as rental property and all of them are rented to wonderful families.  We do our own property management as we like to make things personal for them.  On the day in question one of these families was devastated by an industrial accident that took the life of the husband and father.  All of a sudden this family no longer has a head of the household, instead it is a young mom and 6 children, ages 17 to 3.

Now this gentleman had just turned 39, way to young to be taken home.  He comes from a family of 3 boys and 2 girls and they were raised in foster homes.  All of a sudden the older brother, whom Roger had not spoken to for years, decides he is going to rule this family.  He starts a Facebook page to gather financial support for the family and proceeds to tell the wife that he is going to handle all her financial affairs from now on.

Well you can imagine what that led to - yep, she told him to take a hike.  Told him that her husband had always trusted her with his pay cheques and she knew how to handle money.  Now this young family have been living from pay day to pay day for a long time and they were finally getting ahead so I know she was obviously doing a good job of handling the finances.

So I have this knowledge as I stopped by on Monday to deliver school supplies and groceries that some of us had gotten together for her.  She told me what was going on and how he had tried to take over her life.  Today the brother called and said that he had given her the money that was collected - I think it was around $3,500 and that paying her rent was no longer his responsibility.

I just can't believe that he would go to all this trouble to prove what?  That he's the head of the family being the oldest and it's his responsibility to take over her family.  Come on this is the 21st century, those things only happened in the olden days.  I didn't say anything to him but I so wanted to ... remarkable control on my part, considering my horoscope said I was gonna mix it up with someone today ...  hehehe.

Ok now I feel better that I've vented.

PS.  My mom is home and doing great, feeling good and back to herself.  Now my nephew on the other hand - well that's a story for another day.  Take care everyone and hug your loved ones close cuz you never know what the day will bring.  God bless.

Hard Week

It's been a hard week and an emotional roller coaster.  My mom has been sick for the past few months and didn't say anything to anyone now she is in the hospital.  They did a biopsy of her stomach on Friday and told her they found one big and two small ulcers and were sending them for analysis.  She's a strong woman but I'm not sure how much more she can handle.  Twice breast cancer survivor, 3 major heart attacks and a stroke.  This is all so hard to take in.  She's been losing weight and now they have her on IV fluids but don't want to push them to hard so they don't damage her heart.

It's been a long few days.  Sometimes I wish there were twice as many hours in a day so I could get everything done instead of being played out by suppertime.

Met with a contractor this evening at one of the rental units.  Have to put some new flooring in as the old stuff is pretty dismal.  Son had some left over laminate so can do the 3 bedrooms and living room.  Will put new lino in the bathroom and hallway.  Hopefully next year will be able to lino the kitchen and laundry room.  Have too many other projects at some of the other units to complete this year to get it all done.

Had a horrible storm last evening winds up to 115 km/hr (70 mph) and hail ranging from pea to marble size.  Got the plants in the garage just in time.  Supposed to be nice now for the next two weeks, thinking summer has arrived just in time for it to turn to fall.  Only have two seasons here - Winter and construction.  Most of the main roads in the city are under construction so makes for commuting with some difficulty.  Luckily I go to work early in the morning and get off ahead of the afternoon rush hour.

We had chapter elections at our TOPS club last week and I am back in as leader again.  This time I going to do things a bit differently and delegate, delegate, delegate.  There are enough of us that it shouldn't be difficult to get people to help out.  Looking forward to the next year as I missed a lot in the past 18 months due to the cancer.

Work is a little boring right now as my manager is away on vacation.  Will be glad when he returns on Monday.  It's been ok but have lots to discuss with him so that a decision can be made as I don't feel comfortable making those kind of decisions.

So tonight I am going to bed early in hopes of getting some rest.  Haven't been sleeping well again, not sure if it's due to all the daylight at early hours or just me being me.

Skippy is Back ....

My favorite blogger, I Make Soap, has come back to blogging and I am so glad she did.  Blogs are such a personal thing but you do get the chance to so much about the person writing the posts.  Skippy was there for me when I went through the cancer and even though I have never met her I feel like I have known her all my life.

So I think I will start back to my blogging as well.  I always found it a great outlet for my emotions.  I'm not as good at blogging as Skippy cuz she's down right hilarious at times but I can give her a run for her money ... lol.

Welcome back to the blog world my dear friend.  Catch you on the flip side.

Almost a Year ...

It's been almost a year since I last posted on my blog.  A year of sickness (darn cancer) and trying to get healthy again.  I thought all was well time I got a bad infection in my breast.  Two emergency surgeries and 6 months off work but things started to turn around just before Christmas.

I am still having some problems with low B12 levels and my thyroid is out of whack but that could be from the low B12.  So taking shots for the B12 and have to have more blood work done next week to see if there is any change.

My body has been through H_ _ L this past year and even though I am trying to eat sensibly my idea of sensible does not seem to be doing any good.

We opened a garden centre store last August that is doing fairly well.  It gives hubby something to do during the day while I am at work.  He still really tired and the days are long for him but at least he is moving around and trying to forget his pain.

I went back to work full the beginning of the year and everything seems to be ok.  I get tired real easy, but again from the low B12.  Will see my doctor on the 20th of June so she can go over the test results with me.

We have finally gotten a late spring here in Alberta and right at the moment a thunderstorm is moving in so I had better shut this down.  

Take care everyone.

It's Been Awhile

I do apologize for not having posted in a long time.  Things moved so rapidly with the cancer treatment I hardly had time to breathe let alone post to my blog.

I don't remember where I left off so will give you a quick run down of the timeline.

November 26/12  found the lump
December 10/12  doctor ordered mammogram and ultra sound
December 18/12  mammogram & ultrasound
December 21/12  results came back positive for invasive ductal carcenoma
January 3/13        biopsy done
January 10/13      got results, referred to surgeon
January 16/13      saw surgeon
January 24/13       had surgery |(lumpectomy)
February 14/13    got surgery results
February 28/13     started radiation
March 21/13        finished radiation
April 22/13          back to work

I've been feeling fine, just some residual tiredness from the radiation.  I have my 6 month check up in August so I am hoping all is well at that time.

I want to thank Skippy for keeping such a close eye on me during this whole ordeal, she's been awesome.  And even though I have never met her in person it felt like I've known her all my life.  Thanks Skippy, it meant a lot!

Surgery over and done

Lump and several lymph nodes have been removed.  I am at home recovering nicely.  Everything went will, will see surgeon in a couple of weeks and then get things going for radiation.

Surgical Consult

Met with the surgeon yesterday, she was really nice and made me feel real comfortable.  Surgery (lumpectomy) is scheduled for January 24th in Edmonton.  Have to do pre-admission clinic on the 23rd and get wired the morning of of 24th (they will place a fine wire in the lump so she can find it when she goes in).  I do have to complete 5 weeks of radiation about 4 weeks after the surgery but then it looks like that will be the end of it.  She said it is really tiny and most likely localized but she wants me to do radiation just to be on the safe side. 

It's all happening really fast, I am scared but relieved that we found it early enough that it will be a small amount of time to get through it.  My sister is still getting her radiation treatments and she was diagnosised in April 2012.

Surgical Consult

Surgical consult is booked for January 16th in Edmonton.  Then surgery will be booked within two weeks.

Diagnosis Is In

Biopsy results:

Invasive ductal carcenoma no specific type.  There are no indications of feelers and it is not in the lymph nodes, so doctor is saying most likely stage 1 as it is localized.

So it is now official I have breast cancer.  Still having a hard time wrapping my head around it, seems surreal.

Now have to wait for appointment with breast surgeon and cancer clinic.


I have no pain, do not feel ill, other than being tired which I have attributed to the stress, so how can I possibly have cancer.  Is there not supposed to be some other symptoms than just this pea sized lump? 

Weigh in on Monday was a success, down .6 from just before Christmas.  Not a huge lose but I'm ok with it.  My goal for this year is to have a lose everyweek, no matter how much.  I think changing the goal will be more of an encouragement than looking at it from the pounds side of things.

Biopsy today ............

Had the biopsy done today now have to wait till next week for the results.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  The doctor was really good and very gentle.  A person should never look up things on the internet as it gives a person preconceived ideas and can scare you. 

Change of Focus for Blog

Merry Christmas everyone.  I was thinking of starting a new blog for my cancer journey and then thought I'll just change my focus from weight lose to my journey for life.

It still all seems so surreal but now the "Dance Like There's No Tommorrow" is far more appropriate for this journey.

I thought I would do a time line blog of my journey and then I will always know what happened when.

November 26th - Great Grandson was born but also the day I found the lump in my right breast.

December 10th - Doctor's appointment, appointment made for mammogram and ultraosound.

December 20th - Mammogram and ultrasound of right breast.  Looked at the pictures and compared them to my mammogram in May, it was not there at that time.

December 21st - Doctor's appointment to get test results - ultrasound showed tendancy towards malignancy, there are no feelers and nothing in the lymph nodes which puts it at a stage one, localized cancer.  Waiting for an appointment for the biopsy.

Hard to believe that in less than a month your whole life can be turned upside down.

From here on I will only be posting when something concerning my cancer is happening, other than that life will simply go on.

Test Results

The news was good and bad.  Bad in that the ultrasound showed signs of malignancy, good in that it is localized to the lump, no invasion of the lymph nodes and no feelers running out,  Waiting for an appointment for the biopsy for confirmation.

Waiting is so hard ............

This waiting for the tests and results is so difficult.  Time seems to be dragging so slow.  Even with all the Christmas preparations and excitement I can't seem to get thru the days fast enough.  Sleep has been eluding me since my doctor's appointment.  I' can manage 2 - 3 hours a night and then I'm wide awake.

SHort Update ....

Went to the doctor yesterday and she has ordered a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound.  These are booked for the 20th and will get the results on the 21st.  Trying hard to stay positive as that is half the battle.  I spoke with my manager today to let him know what is happening.  I felt sorry for him as I didn't realize the impact it might have.  He had tears in his eyes and couldn't speak for a few minutes but told me that no matter how much time I needed just to take it and he would make sure no one fussed about it (we have some in our office that have a tendancy to stick their noses in other people's lives).  I just wanted to reach out and hug him, he is so awesome.
It's still somewhat surreal, I think because my sister starts her 6 weeks of radiation on Monday.  Here she's not even finished and there maybe a chance I'll be starting.  But it is Christmas and I refuse to let this small bump in the road slow me down.  Hubby brought the tree in tonight and now my house smells like pine.  Will get the decorations on it tomorrow.  Gonna work on my Christmas cards tonight and hopefully get them in the mail by weekend.

It Doesn't Feel Any Different

I became a great-grandmother on November 26th.  I don't feel any different as nothing has really changed.  I have not been contacted by my grandson so I have no particulars on this little one other than it is a boy and they call him CJ.  It really hurt at first to know they want me to have nothing to do with him but I have now resigned myself to it.  I gave away all the things I had made and bought so they are not a reminder of what was supposed to be a joyous occasion.
I have spent the past 2 days getting my Christmas baking done and managed to not do a lot of taste testing (used hubby instead).  Next weekend my youngest son and his boy will be spending a day with us as they have other plans for Christmas.  On the 23rd is our big family celebration.  Last count there were 18 stockings hung on the bannister. 
I have a doctor's appointment this morning as I found a small lump in my right breast a couple of weeks ago or at least I think I did.  It may just be me being paranoid after my sister's recent bout with breast cancer.  Not getting to excited about it right now as it may not even exist.

Not Always of Sound Mind .............

So after my last post I had to stop and think about my next course of action.  I\m not sure why my grandson would allow something like that to happen but I have decided that I am not going to worry about it.  I have many things in my life to enjoy and I am not going to let them make me so miserable that I miss the other wonderful things.

First thing I did was I unfriended them on Facebook.  It was painful to see all the things that are going on with the baby and knowing that I cannot be a part of it.  It's called self-perservation.  What you don't see you can't miss.  They obviously haven't missed me cuz they haven't called.  Their lose not mine.

I have been doing well with my weight the past few weeks.  Tonight I weighed in at TOPS with a lose for the 7th week in a row.  They haven't been huge loses but averaging 1.5 lbs per week.  I had really let myself go and climbed the scale to almost 300 pounds.  I am now back down in the 280's and feel so much better than I did before.  I am taking a course on how to deal with chronic illness and not let it beat you - it's been really interesting so far.

I managed to catch the flu this weekend so feeling really crappy.  Three people were sick at work last week and instead of staying home they had to spread the love around.  If I don't feel better in the morning I am going to stay home.  It's what we have sick time for and I think everyone should use it wisely but use it when necessary.

I've been working on Christmas things and trying to get my house decorated.  Of course hubby picks this particular time to renovate the basement ............. grrrrrr.  Never a dull moment around our house.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts after my last post.  Sometimes it just helps to write it down even if no one else sees it.  It brings a clearer picture to reality.  Big hugs.