Thanks everyone for your comments, I feel better today. I apologize, not sure what came over me but this blog was all about what makes me tick. It's funny that I would have felt forgotten when I am normally a very private person to begin with and this blog was started more as a means for me to journal and work my 12 step program. I think as time went on I started to be more and more dependant on you all to be there when my day was finished. Thank you all for caring.
I got up at 4 this morning as I couldn't sleep (I think it was due to not hearing the sound of falling rain), had a shower, breakfast and went for my walk to pick up the mail. I think I remember telling you that my mom and I have not spoken for over 3 years. Seems she thinks I did something wrong but I'm not sure she remembers what it is. Anyway my folks are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary in about 6 weeks. My youngest sister told me a couple of weeks ago that mom had called her and told her they were having an open house and that there would be no formal invitations only word of mouth. So I naturally assumed that I would not get an invite. Even though she hasn't spoken with me I do send her flowers for Mother's Day, her birthday, Christmas, their anniversary, etc. Today when I picked up the mail there was a thank you card from her for the Mother's Day flowers with a note extending an invitation to the open house. I nearly dropped in my tracks.
Now I am confused as to what to do. Is this her way of saying she wants to bury the hatchet but doesn't want to say she is sorry? Is she just inviting us so that we can't say we weren't but doesn't expect us to show up? I am so confused. Just when I thought that things were on an even keel again along comes another upset the apple cart situation. Does it never end. If she had not sent the invitation everything would have been just fine. I would have sent the usual flowers and the CD I am having made of some old home videos. Now I have to try and figure out if there is any reason why it would be better if I didn't go. I'm the black sheep in my family and other than one sister none of the other siblings talk to me. I am in such a pickle here, any suggestions?