Change of Focus for Blog

Merry Christmas everyone.  I was thinking of starting a new blog for my cancer journey and then thought I'll just change my focus from weight lose to my journey for life.

It still all seems so surreal but now the "Dance Like There's No Tommorrow" is far more appropriate for this journey.

I thought I would do a time line blog of my journey and then I will always know what happened when.

November 26th - Great Grandson was born but also the day I found the lump in my right breast.

December 10th - Doctor's appointment, appointment made for mammogram and ultraosound.

December 20th - Mammogram and ultrasound of right breast.  Looked at the pictures and compared them to my mammogram in May, it was not there at that time.

December 21st - Doctor's appointment to get test results - ultrasound showed tendancy towards malignancy, there are no feelers and nothing in the lymph nodes which puts it at a stage one, localized cancer.  Waiting for an appointment for the biopsy.

Hard to believe that in less than a month your whole life can be turned upside down.

From here on I will only be posting when something concerning my cancer is happening, other than that life will simply go on.

Test Results

The news was good and bad.  Bad in that the ultrasound showed signs of malignancy, good in that it is localized to the lump, no invasion of the lymph nodes and no feelers running out,  Waiting for an appointment for the biopsy for confirmation.

Waiting is so hard ............

This waiting for the tests and results is so difficult.  Time seems to be dragging so slow.  Even with all the Christmas preparations and excitement I can't seem to get thru the days fast enough.  Sleep has been eluding me since my doctor's appointment.  I' can manage 2 - 3 hours a night and then I'm wide awake.

SHort Update ....

Went to the doctor yesterday and she has ordered a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound.  These are booked for the 20th and will get the results on the 21st.  Trying hard to stay positive as that is half the battle.  I spoke with my manager today to let him know what is happening.  I felt sorry for him as I didn't realize the impact it might have.  He had tears in his eyes and couldn't speak for a few minutes but told me that no matter how much time I needed just to take it and he would make sure no one fussed about it (we have some in our office that have a tendancy to stick their noses in other people's lives).  I just wanted to reach out and hug him, he is so awesome.
It's still somewhat surreal, I think because my sister starts her 6 weeks of radiation on Monday.  Here she's not even finished and there maybe a chance I'll be starting.  But it is Christmas and I refuse to let this small bump in the road slow me down.  Hubby brought the tree in tonight and now my house smells like pine.  Will get the decorations on it tomorrow.  Gonna work on my Christmas cards tonight and hopefully get them in the mail by weekend.

It Doesn't Feel Any Different

I became a great-grandmother on November 26th.  I don't feel any different as nothing has really changed.  I have not been contacted by my grandson so I have no particulars on this little one other than it is a boy and they call him CJ.  It really hurt at first to know they want me to have nothing to do with him but I have now resigned myself to it.  I gave away all the things I had made and bought so they are not a reminder of what was supposed to be a joyous occasion.
I have spent the past 2 days getting my Christmas baking done and managed to not do a lot of taste testing (used hubby instead).  Next weekend my youngest son and his boy will be spending a day with us as they have other plans for Christmas.  On the 23rd is our big family celebration.  Last count there were 18 stockings hung on the bannister. 
I have a doctor's appointment this morning as I found a small lump in my right breast a couple of weeks ago or at least I think I did.  It may just be me being paranoid after my sister's recent bout with breast cancer.  Not getting to excited about it right now as it may not even exist.