Ready, set, go ..............

Ok, Miss Skippy I am all geared up for tomorrow.  Just been to the store and stalked up on fruits and veggies.  Have the water problem figured out (I think), pedometer is reset and ready for some serious walking.  If I knew how to make it on here you'd see me sticking my tounge out at ya!!!!!

Actually I am really looking forward to tomorrow.  There will be two weigh-ins on Monday's, one when I get up in the morning and one from my evening TOPS group.  Now I know they will be different but that is ok, at least they will be posted.

We survived the Halloween themed wedding, it was very different but really cute, and made it home safe and sound.  I now have to cram 2 days of housework into a couple of hours and get ready to be invaded by all the spooks and spookettes.

Have a wonderful evening everyone and I'll be back on the morrow!!! 

P.S.  I have set a goal for myself of 28 pounds by December 31st and I need a cheering team so jump on the bandwagon and let's hear some noise.

P.P.S.  Tina, do you want in on this challenge?  If so let me know and we can do this together!!!!

It's Firday, it's Friday, woo hoo it's Friday .....

Why is it working folks aways get excited about Friday's and hate Monday's, doesn't make much sense but then most things in this world don't.  I was just catching up on some of my blogs and realized it will be two weeks tomorrow since that horrid accident that took Margie and Bruce.  It actually seems like a lot longer than that in one way.  Everytime I look at the list of blogs I follow I see it increase by a day since her last post and keep thinking maybe she's just away on vacation.  Keeping her alive in my thoughts, she was such a good blog friend and so wise. 

I've been trying to figure out a way that I can get more water in daily well at work.  My biggest hurdle is that I like my water ice cold (I know it's not supposed to be good for you, but that's the way it has to be).  So trying to decide if I should take an ice cube tray to work so I always have ice and then try and drink a glass an hour or just suck it up and drink it warm (yuckie).  Gonna work on it some more this weekend and see what I can come up with.

Got a call from my oldest son today to tell me they have set their wedding date for July 9th next year.  This will be a hard one for me as I am not sure I want to go.  I really don't know her and do not see any opportunity for that to change anytime in the near future.  But I have time to make a decision on that as well.

Youngest son called all excited about his move and wanted to know if we were still planning on coming for Christmas.  Told him if the weather is good we'll be there (it's about a 4 hour drive).  Decision made.

Have a few more things to work through this weekend before I start my challenge with Skippy on Monday.  Going out of town tomorrow for a wedding so will have some driving time to do some thinking. 

Will see you all again on Monday with a brand new attitude and a brand new goal.  Till then big HUGS!!!!

Skippy .............are you listening?????

First off here is a picture of the newest grand, Amica Brennen Murray, she's absolutely perfect.

Okay, now down to business.  Can you believe I had this all typed out once and the blog moofy got me, so I have to start all over again. 

I took water to work today and thought oh boy this is going to work out just great......not, it sat there and stared at me because I forgot all about it.  So tomorrow I will try again to remember it is there.  I seem to get so engrossed in what I am working on that I forget about almost anything else.

Skippy, I accept your challenge except that I would like to put it off till Monday.  We have to go out of town this weekend for a wedding so I want to practice being good.  I did really well today and had my 3 meals and that was it.  Work is a hard place for me as someone is always bringing in something.  Tomorrow is Birthday Thursday.  The last Thursday of each month we celebrate the birthdays for that month.  I made some carrot./pumpkin muffins so that I can enjoy the celebration as my birthday was this month.  I know one of the other girls is bringing a cake so I wanted something on hand so I would not be tempted.

I do take raw vegetables to work each day for lunch and cleaned the junk food out of my cupboards a long time ago.  Even though I'm only eating healthy stuff it's the quantity that is getting to me. 

I can't tell you how much I appreciate all your comments and suggestions.  Just knowing that I am not alone is awesome.  You are all so special, God bless.

Absolutely no self control.......desperate cry for help!

I have fallen off the wagon and even being run over does not seem to be able to get me out of this slump I am in.  I can't seem to find any control at all as far as what I am eating.  Everything is fair game and the scales are going up, up, up.........Don't get me wrong I am not looking for pity but some genuine feedback on how I can get myself under control again.

I tried setting out a meal plan for a couple of days in advance and can even follow it faithfully and then all of a sudden it's like an alter ego appears and encourages me to eat all the things I know I am not supposed to.  I am an intelligent woman so why the hell is this happening? 

Our TOPS Area Captain did a presentation last night on stress, she pointed out all the negative things that can happen to our bodies as a result of too much stress.  It was not pretty but extremely informative.  So I got to thinking about what she had presented and even practiced a few of the ideas she gave to help cope with stress and help you to relax.  Did it work .... nope, nada, not a chance ..........  Does that mean I have no stress or I'm too far gone to be able to get it under control.

I have no idea and at this point all I keep thinking is ...Is it worth the fight?  Of course it is, I just have to find a way to put this devil on my shoulder whispering in my ear in his/her place.  So if you have any suggestions at all I would welcome them.  I know there are no guarantees in life but I honestly do not want to be packing this weight around for the rest of my life.

Yikes how could this happen .....

As you know I have been weighing in daily and doing pretty well with a small lose each day since the 19th.  Well this morning I stepped on the weigh thingamajiggy and it was horrible, just horrible I tell you.  Yesterday I was at 276.4 and this morning I was at 278, I didn't do any binging or eat crazy or anything like that.  Now as crazy as this sounds I am wondering if it is because I only got about 3 hours sleep.  Crap now I have to try and get rid of it all over again.

On the plus side I walked 13614 steps today.  I took hubby to this huge mall and we walked, and we walked and we walked till we couldn't walk anymore.  This is the 2nd time since the 1st of October that I have had a day with total steps over 10,000.  I am really happy with this.

As I said we were mall walking today.  Left home around 7:30, stopped in Airdrie for breakfast with the gang, went mall walking (shopping included of course) and got home around 5:30.  We are both totally exhausted.  I think hubby will need 2 or 3 days just to be able to get enough rest to move again.  He was really happy that I suggested it even though we both knew it would take a terrible tole on him to do it.  We know he is getting weaker so I want to be able to do somethings now before he can't get around anymore.

Of course we had breakfast out and lunch as well but I did only eat half my lunch at noon and brought the rest home so the Pugs and I had it for dinner.  I have decided that I am going to only eat half of every meal no matter what and see if that will be a good start.

I am really tired and can hardly keep my eyes open so going to say good night and till tomorrow, big hugs to you all.

Back after a short absence .....

I had to take a few days away from blogging to be able to digest what had happened to our wonderful Margie and her husband.  I've been reading faithfully everyday the comments being left by others.  It is truly amazing how one person can touch so many lives, what a wonderful legacy she leaves all of us.  Her family has arrived back at home with motorhome in tow and dear Annie settling into her new home.  Now it is time to let her family have some privacy so that they may remember all the wonderful things and let their grief begin a journey of healing.  May God wrap his arms tightly around them and keep them safe.  Margie and Bruce will watch over them from their Heavenly home.  Rest in peace my friends, until we meet again.

It's been a long week for me but much better work wise.  I finally had time to sit down with my Manager today and talk about the interview and why I was unsuccessful for the position.  She told me that my interview was very good and my skills are exceptional, she would just like to see me gain more experience in the Accounts Payable end of things before tackling a supervisory position.  Actually they have not yet filled the postion so it was extended.  I did apply again, because if I don't show and interest I will never succeed at getting where I want to go.

Food has been good the past few days, I'm down from 279.8 on the 19th to 276.4 this morning, so I feel like I am back on the right path again.  I am still weighing daily and charting just as I am wearing my pedometer daily and recording my steps as well.  I won't bore you with those numbers right now.

I have a new granddaughter born on the 19th, 7 lbs 11 oz, Amica Brennan.  I haven't seen her yet but hope to this weekend.  We are actually going to take the day tomorrow and go to a place called Iron Cross Mill, which is a huge shopping center outside of Calgary.  I want to do a little Christmas shopping and hubby wants to visit this enormous sporting goods store there.  I do hope his legs will hold up but if not I will get him a motorized scooter and he can get around that way.

Well that is about all the catching up that I have for now.  Will be back tomorrow after we get home. 

A Tribute to Maggie and Bruce .....

I have just read the postings regarding Maggie and Bruce being killed by a suicidal maniac.  It seems so far fetched you wonder how can this be.  These things don't happen in real life, only in the movies.  But as we can see that is not so.  There is nothing good about this but I know God thought it best to take them both so that they will always be together in eternity.

My heart goes out to Stephanie and her family and to Annie as well, it is a very confusing time even for a pet.  Maggie was such an upbeat person who showed us all that even after the weight lose struggles continue and that you have to constantly be on your toes cuz those pounds can come sneaking back.

Thank you Maggie for being my friend, for your words of wisdom, your humor and most of all for sharing your life with all of us.  You will be missed but God's garden blooms brighter today because you are there. 

I never had the priviledge to meet you but in my heart I knew you and Bruce like you lived next door.  Take care my friend till we meet again.  Hugs!!!

Hanging my head in shame ...........

Yes, I know better but I did it anyway.  Started binging on Saturday and could not stop myself ......... result up 3 pounds this morning.  I really need to think about what I am doing and why.  I know I was a bit stressed out but holy crap I managed to maintain all the way through the wedding and now this.........I'm going to the naughty corner for a time out!

Blog gremlin did it again.........

great I just wrote a great post on determination and willpower and the blog gremlin got it ........grrrrrrrr. 

Determination

1.a determining or being determined (in all senses of the verb)
2.a decision arrived at by thought and investigation; conclusion
3.a firm intention
4.the quality of being resolute; firmness of purpose
5.Law the ending of an estate or of an interest or right in property
 
Will·power
1.strength of will, mind, or determination; self-control
2.The strength of will to carry out one's decisions, wishes, or plans.

Okay, so those are the definitions but now have to decide how to apply them to my life.  I believe that I am going to be able to explore these definitions and with determination will find the willpower to overcome my weight issues.

I did not get the supervisor position I applied for, even though she said I have the skills and had a good interview I was not successful.  I believe that it had to do with seniority as I am a union employee.  I am determined not to let it get to me but to see if there are perhaps some one line courses in management and accounting that I can take so the next time a position comes up I will have the right combination of skills to be successful.

We have come to a decision about hubby's health in that we are starting on a quest for a doctor that is willing to look at him and point him to the right specialist so that we can get to the bottom of his problems.  Someone that is willing to listen and not ignore him because they don't know what the cause is.

We have all out rental units full now with long term leases so that will ease the financial situation a lot. 

All in all life is good and so I am starting a new year of my life with a determination to find the willpower to overcome this horrid weight affliction and meet my goals.  No more horsing around, a more positive attitude towards life, more exercise and less whining......look out world cuz I am on a roll.

Weighed in at 275.6 this morning so have managed to maintain all through the wedding but now it is time to get to below 270.  I have been using the daily weight tracker and I think it has helped me to a least maintain over the past 2 weeks.  As soon as I figure out how to get it on this blog I will do so and if you are interested you can follow along.

Happy birthday to me ......

Yep, today is my birthday, the big 58.  Where has all the time gone.  Sorry I've been neglecting my postings, totally exhausted from all the wedding activities.  Nothing special planned for this evening, went for coffee after work with some of the girls.  Now going to curl up on the couch and watch some TV, tomorrow back to regular posts and back on track.  Have actually done really well the last week, no big gains and walking every day and posting weights on my tracker have helped to keep me under control.

Till tomorrow!!!

Duped ............

Well as is likely with most weddings, this one did not go off without a hitch........this one caused by the happy couple themselves ......on purpose no less.  Remember I told you about the pop corn maker .... well there was a reason she was so adament about it being there.

We arrived at the hall around 3:30 and saw a screen with pictures being shown.  You know, things like pictures of when they were small, school, pics of the kids, etc.  Nothing unusual there!  Well it's getting onto 4 and the guests are getting restless, I'm watching the slide presentation and all of a sudden there is a pic of the them in their wedding attire in the snow.  I think what the heck, this is really good photography and where did they get the background.  Did the local ski hill have snow made already, it's been way to warm for it the past couple of days.

So I continue watching and then all of a sudden there is mention of a helicopter ride and ..........well the rest as they say is history.  They snuck off in a helicopter to the top of a mountain and got married in the snow.  All I can say is good for them for living their dream, they both love the snow.  They had the ceremony taped and then e-mails back to the hall and shown on the screen.  Now you know the reason for the popcorn.  It was getting onto dusk when they arrived so the opportunity for pictures was not real good but we got a few in.

Here comes the bride ....

Well, the big day has arrived.  Got all the salads made and delivered yesterday.  Still a few things to do, like deliver the BBQ and popcorn machine........yep, you read it right, popcorn machine.  At least I was able to talk her out of the dunk tank.  She truly is her father's daughter.....lol. 

It's a big day for us today, our anniversary, youngest daughter's birthday and oldest daughter's wedding day.  Lots of celebrating, hope hubby can endure the pace.  He is getting weaker and weaker........

Improvisation ..........

I did an impromptu job interview today.  I had applied for a supervisor's position some time ago and got a notice that the interview was for tomorrow.  I said to my manager that tomorrow was my day off so she said Tuesday would be ok.  Ok breathing here, having some time to think and prepare.  About 2 she comes and tells me that they had a cancellation at 3 and was I game.  So I went for it, I think it went ok, will know next week.  First time I have ever done something like that and actually think it was a smart thing to do, get it over and done with and then not have to worry all weekend.

Heading to a Carolyn Dawn Johnson concert this evening and then salad making tomorrow.  Lots of company coming either tomorrow night or Saturday so it is going to be hectic aound here.

Yesterday it was important - today is too late .........

This mantra has been running through my head since yesterday.  Work was a bear, I had asked my manager for a few mnutes of time to chat about some issues that I thought needed addressing, especially all the perfume in the office.  Also, wanted to tell her I did not appreciate my supervisor yelling at me when she was frustrated about something else.  Well she obviously did not have or want to take the time so if she comes to me today I will simply say - Yesterday it was important, today is too late......... I don't have time to wait for her to make time.  Made a concious decision about the perfumes and that is that if I get really sick from them I will go to the doctor and make a Worker's Compensation claim, maybe that will open their eyes.  I am not wasting my sick hours because they refuse to do something about it.

Food has been ok the past few days, I have been being careful but no time to write it all down at this point and so many things on my mind that I have forgotten most of it.  I am doing the daily weighin like Tina and really enjoying seeing the progress or lack thereof each day. 

Timer going off, time to shower and rinse the color out of my hair.  Catch you later.

Above ground and kicking ..........

Well, I am still above ground and kicking, still not feeling 100% but hopefully improving every day.  I will try to get in everyday but please forgive me if I don't.  Daughter is getting married this weekend so lots of things to do.

Had to get something to wear that would be appropriate, well that was a chore unto itself.  Seems hubby thinks I wear too much black so I bought a very colorful shirt and some nice black dress pants.  It's going to be a casual wedding so pants are okay.  I had hoped to be down a few more pounds but she says she loves me just the way I am - all of me!!  Gotta love those kids that love you unconditionally.

Well I am off to bed as I still have 3 more days of work, a dental appointment, a concert to attend and major salad making to do before weekend.  Oh ya, still have to put a color in my hair and attend my OA meeting.....good thing Monday is a holiday cuz I will need it to rest up.  Did I mention I also have a book review to write before Wednesday!!!!

Dying, but not dead yet ......

Oh, what a horrible day, I work up this morning wishing I was dead, my sinuses are stuffed and I have a horrid fever.  I can thank all my co-workers for this as most of them don't seem to get what "NO SCENTS" means and insist on dousing themselves in perfume that I am extremely allergic to.  Guess they don't realize what they think smells nice can actually kill me......ugh!

To Sheilah that nominated me for the award I want to say thank you so much once again.  I really wish I could follow the thread and do the postings and the nominating that is required but I just don't have the time.  Most of the blogs I follow are already nominated and I have to admit that I only follow a few as time is limited.  I feel that everyone that has the courage to post a blog on a weight lose/maintenance deserves an award.  It takes a lot of courage for some people to own up to what has been an obstacle all their life.  So as much as I would love to accept I am afraid I must decline.

To all of you that follow my blog, bless your hearts.  I have made some lasting friendships due to you visiting here whether daily or now and then.  Your comments and suggestions are the best and I never take offence at any of them.

This week my best friend from high school lost her son-in-law to suicide.  Please pray for his family, her family and especially his wife and two small children.  We don't know why people are driven to such desperate acts and it is not for us to sit in judgement but to provide comfort and understanding to those left behind, who so often take the blame for that person's actions onto themselves.  Mental illness is a terrible disease and so devastating. 

Ok, I am heading off for a nap with hopes of waking up feeling better.