And so ends another chapter in my life ............

Looks as if things are finally going to settle down for me.  After all these weeks of working 70 hours I am finally going to go back to normal hours.  I had an interview earlier this week and was successful in getting the position.  It is a brand new position with Senior's Health and I am soooooooooo excited.  I can't wait for my start date of April 11th.

Sometimes a change is as good as a rest.  This will allow me time to get back to my blogging and concentrate on myself for a change.  I have so missed blogging and catching up on all the news from my blogger friends.

I was re-elected as Leader for my TOPS chapter for another year.  This year I am going to concentrate on training the Co-leader to step in to Leader position next year.  This is my 5th year and I think it is time for some new blood and ideas.  I really appreciate that my Chapter has so much faith in me that they want me to stay on but others need a chance as well.

So look out blog buddies I am back with a vengence and so looking forward to it.  I am off to work this morning but now I can go wih the attitude that there is an end in sight and the most I will have to do is 2 more Saturdays.     

You all have a great weekend and I will be back here in the very near future.

Thinking 68 hours a week is just a little much ....

Yes, I am still working those horrid hours and there does not look like much relief in site........hey, maybe there is.  I have an interview with another department on the 15th so hopefully that one will pan out and I can go back to working like a normal person.  Someone said to me the other day "look at all the money you're making".  Hello reality check here, you only clear about 50% of what you make so it ain't that great.

I did go today and stock up on fresh fruit and veggies so I can at least eat one healthy meal a day.  Good think we don't have vending machines where I work or I would have become an addict by now.  I've been trying to do the right things with my eating but these long hours sometimes make me senseless where my meals are concerned.

I had to go to the walkin clinic today and get some antibiotics, I've been fighting a sinus infection for a month now and decided if I didn't go it would probably get the better of me.  It's hard to concentrate at work when your head is pounding and your eyes hurt.

We are still in the mighty throws of winter right now.  We've had more snow and cold temperatures this winter than I can remember in a very long time.  It's been hovering around -28 C during the day and dropping to -45 C at nights.  Even with the day light hours getting longer there hasn't been any relief and the weatherman is forcasting a long cold spring. 

Sorry, if I am being so negative.  Not much to be positive about right at this very moment.  We did get the appeal for hubby's disability in on time and they are now reviewing it.  Not expecting any great exciting news from that either.  Right now everything is in the doldrums but such is life.

I hope everyone is well, I have managed to read a few pages but no energy to make comments.  Soon I hope.

Hello, hello, hello......

I think i hear an echo, can that really be me saying hello?  And just when you had all given up on me and decided that she's a phoney and never coming back, here I am, just like a bad penny.  I know I've been MIA but the hours at work have been long and arduous.  I've been doing 5 x 12 + 1 x 8 = 68 hours a week so I haven't had much energy for anything but work and sleep.  Don't even ask me about food right now as all sensiblity has gone right out the window.  Meal times are whenever I think I can take 5 minutes and find something and then I usually fall asleep before I get through it.

It's a long weekend here in Alberta and so far today is the only day that I am going to get off.  That means all cleaning and laundry must get done today because there is absolutely no way of knowing when the next day off will be.  Am I totally nuts?  Probably but I am one of those dedicated employees who will endure just about anything to ensure the job is completed.  Unfortunately, I don't know if there is ever going to be an end to the mountain of paperwork that comes in and goes out in this job.  The new system is up and running but not without some glitches which is to be expected with a transition.  I truly am hoping that tomorrow will be the last day of necessary overtime and then I can get back to working normal hours before this old body does a 180 and craters on me.  So far I've been hanging on and doing ok but I am sure it is only a matter of time before it says enough is enough.

Sometimes work is an outlet for me in dealing with stress,  Strange as it may sound when I am working life has a way of not getting to me.  We are still struggling with the insurance company over hubby's disability and have now had to send in another appeal in order to keep the file open until the end of May when he has an appointment with a Rheumatoidologist.  The meds they put him on were just making him sick and he gained 20 pounds in 2 weeks and was hardly eating anything.  So they took him off of the one and his weight has gone back down but he is still fighting being sick to his stomach and the pain has increased horribly.

My youngest son broke off his engagement and that has been hard on everyone.  She has a 13 year old daughter and an 8 year old son that run her life and he just couldn't stand by and watch it any longer.  He tried to talk to her and she just doesn't see the problem.  These kids are totally out of conrol and she wouldn't let him discipline them and when she did it was useless as they just whined until she let them have their own way.  He loves her with all his heart but is not willing to have these kids run his life or watch them ruin hers.  She will be moving out next weekend so he's coming here until she is gone.  My heart goes out to him and I had hoped she would be the one but I also understand where he is coming from.  I hate to say it but these kids are literally monsters and she will never be allowed to have a relationship with anyone because of them.  They have made her feel so guilty over the split with their Dad that she gives into their every little whim and I want.  It is really sad to see.

So that is it from my end of the world.  Missed last week's TOP's weigh in due to work and no weigh in this week because of the holiday so I have no numbers to report.

Yep, it's me .....

Last week was almost a total write off for me and this week hasn't been any better.  I did have a lose at weigh in on Monday night so am happy with that.  I was loser of the week so I got a lovely fruit basket to take home.

I was really sick for 2 days last week, I went to work one morning and within 45 minutes I was back at home dealing with the worst case of IBS that I have had in ages.  What  caused it probably stress, extra work, you name it.  I am still working 12 hour days but hopefully this will be the last week.  We go live on the 15th so hopefully the extra hours will not be needed.

I'm heading out the door here in a second but just wanted to pop in and update any of you that might be still with me.  Take care everyone and have a great day!!

Checking in ...........

Just a quick note to post my weigh in for tonight, as you can see it was up again.  I'm so disappointed in myself that I just want to quit, but I won't no matter what.  Things have to turn around pretty soon I hope.

I'm still working lots of overtime hours and hubby had surgery on his other ear on Friday.  He seen the doctor on Tuesday and they did a rush booking.  I am hoping and praying that it works.

Our TOPS group went bowling tonight so that was a good stress buster.  It was a lot of fun as well, I don't bowl very well but definitely got some much needed exercise.  Working 12 hours a day sitting at a desk does not leave much time for exercising.  I get home and fall into bed, I am so exhausted.

Please don't give up on me I am checking in whenever I can find a few minutes.  Big hugs to you all.

Hating the scales right now ......

Well weigh in was tonight and I was up 2.2 pounds, what the heck is with that?  I can't believe what the stress is doing to my body.  Think I need to start meditating or something, my gosh no wonder my ass feels like it is 6 ax handles wide.  None of my clothes are fitting properly again.  I am a mess.

Is God watching???

We haven't been to church in months due to hubby being so sick but this morning I got up and knew I had to go with or without him.  I didn't want to go alone so I prayed that God would give him the strength to be able to go and He did.  We had an awesome time, the sermon was just what I needed to hear and all the hugs were fantastic.  Not only that they have started a new program where members of the church provide a slow cooker meal and newcomers or those that have been away for awhile are invited to have lunch with the Pastor and his family.  Now you have to understand our church is a very small church (maybe 35 members in total) so when someone is away for awhile it affects everyone.  We had a wonderful time visiting with Pastor Bear and his family and it felt so good to be home.  I needed to go, my attitude towards life with dealing with insurance companies, dumb doctors and incompetent co-workers was pushing me over the edge.

I've been experiencing chest pains from the stress and a very upset digestive system to boot.  Today I needed to be in the house of the Lord and just give my problems to Him as I can no longer carry the burden. 

I don't expect everyone who reads this to agree with me or share my beliefs and that is okay.  I have gone from crying almost none stop yesterday to having a peaceful easy feeling today.  No matter how we obtain that point of sanity we need to reach out to whomever or whatever it takes to realign our lives. 

I've been struggling so much these past months, worrying about health and finances that I had forgotten there is someone out there that can carry this burden for me.  Thank you God for being my rock.

Hubby finally booted me out of the house yesterday and told me to go do something for myself.  I decided to get my hair done and I must admit I did feel better afterwards.  It cost me $135 but hubby said it was money well spend to give me a much needed couple of me hours.  I do love this man so and pray constantly that the doctors will decide what to do.  He is now being sent to see a Rhuemoidologist and then we hope there will be some clearer answers.