HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone. Normally I don't make resolutions because I have a really bad habit of breaking them. I want this year to be different. I resolve to find only positive things to fill my days and banish negative thoughts. I resolve to find more time for fun things, family and friends. And last but not least I resolve to take more "me time" and look forward to 2012 being the best year ever!!
It's been a great day and a positive one. I didn't realize how negative I had become with life till I stopped today to look at each moment in a positive light. Wow, it was great not to be concerned about what others would think or do and to realize how a lot of situations you cannot change so there is no need to be angry.
We had a tenant move out this week and when we had stopped by earlier this week we were really concerned about what kind of mess would be left behind as it was total confusion at the time. We arrived at noon and other than some strong cleaning and garbage removal it didn't look too, too bad. I looked at everything and turned to my hubby and said, well time to roll up the shirt sleeves and get to work not that bad after all.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Sunday, December 25, 2011
MERRY CHRISTMAS
MERRY CHRISTMAS to all those in blog land. A special thank you to those that stay with me no matter what! As we celebrate the birth of JESUS, may the time you have with family and friends be a beautiful memory forever.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
She stood beside the window watching the soft snowflakes attempting to drift to the ground. Sudden gusts of wind would pick them up, swirl them around and carry them off beyond sight. The winter weather like her thoughts were hectic one moment and calm the next.
Today was December 4th, three weeks till Christmas Day. Christmas ........ her favorite holiday. A time for family and friends. A time for giving so others could have a wonderful holiday. Wait a minute that was years past, this year nothing, not even a twinge of holiday spirit.
She avoided the stores and crowds. Even the few small gifts that she had decided to purchase had not yet been bought. The bright lights and Christmas carols only made her sadder. All the shoppers were in a hurry and didn't have a clue to the pain in her heart.
Outwardly she smiled and returned the Merry Christmases that were directed at her. Memories of better years and happier times crowded her mind and brought tears to her eyes. No one suspected how bad things were for her and her husband, she put on a brave front and to others everything appeared normal.
They had finally managed to get some refinancing completed and that helped to ease the burden somewhat. It was a harsh reality that in doing so the bank had forced them to close some of their major credit card accounts. It was a necessary evil, "You have to get your debt load down before we can assist you." was what they had said. How embarassing to have total stangers in charge of your life and placing conditions on it.
Gazing out the window across the wind swept yard she remembered better times. Times when her husband had been healthy and Christmas was the most wonderful time of the year. She had enjoyed picking a family that could use some assistance and shopping for food and presents for them. The look of joy on the faces of the little ones as they opened the gifts and a mom with tears of thanks glistening in her eyes. And now she found herself thinking back to a time when she was that single mom and someone did for her what she had so proudly paid forward.
So many things to be thankful for and yet her heart was broken. They still had their home, she had a good job, they could still pay the utility bills and buy groceries. So what was missing .........her pride, her self-esteem ........
Today was December 4th, three weeks till Christmas Day. Christmas ........ her favorite holiday. A time for family and friends. A time for giving so others could have a wonderful holiday. Wait a minute that was years past, this year nothing, not even a twinge of holiday spirit.
She avoided the stores and crowds. Even the few small gifts that she had decided to purchase had not yet been bought. The bright lights and Christmas carols only made her sadder. All the shoppers were in a hurry and didn't have a clue to the pain in her heart.
Outwardly she smiled and returned the Merry Christmases that were directed at her. Memories of better years and happier times crowded her mind and brought tears to her eyes. No one suspected how bad things were for her and her husband, she put on a brave front and to others everything appeared normal.
They had finally managed to get some refinancing completed and that helped to ease the burden somewhat. It was a harsh reality that in doing so the bank had forced them to close some of their major credit card accounts. It was a necessary evil, "You have to get your debt load down before we can assist you." was what they had said. How embarassing to have total stangers in charge of your life and placing conditions on it.
Gazing out the window across the wind swept yard she remembered better times. Times when her husband had been healthy and Christmas was the most wonderful time of the year. She had enjoyed picking a family that could use some assistance and shopping for food and presents for them. The look of joy on the faces of the little ones as they opened the gifts and a mom with tears of thanks glistening in her eyes. And now she found herself thinking back to a time when she was that single mom and someone did for her what she had so proudly paid forward.
So many things to be thankful for and yet her heart was broken. They still had their home, she had a good job, they could still pay the utility bills and buy groceries. So what was missing .........her pride, her self-esteem ........
Saturday, November 12, 2011
How do I realize what is killing me?
Things have gotten better and worse for us. Hubby is getting worse and still no relief in site. Doctor wanted another specialist opinion but they say since he has already seen one they don't want to see him. Now his doctor is saying it is not what he thought but he has no idea what it is. So back to the square one only difference between now and 4 years ago is that back then he could walk for more than five minutes. Now five minutes of walking is almost impossible.
We got some finances straightened out so that we are good for another year and a half or so. Hopefully by then there will be something happening with the insurance company. Means we have to watch every penny and stretch them as far as possible but at least we will have the pennies to stretch.
As for me and my weight problem, well it is still a problem. Some days more than others. Lately all I want to do is cook and eat. I want to make all the things I know I shouldn't and then eat every bite of it. For instance I made a slow cooker of beef stew today with lots and lots of vegetables. Had two helpings, not really so bad till I add the 4 homemade dinner rolls I had to go with it,
Not sure why I made the rolls just needed to cook something and it seemed like the right thing to go with the stew. Am I concious of what I am doing? You bet. Do I want to do it? No, but that doesn't seem to matter to my brain.
Each day I wake up and think ok today is the day, I can do this. Eat sensibly, small portions, no junk food, no extra breads.........well that lasts about as long as it takes me to get the thought into my head. I can make it through breakfast and lunch but then comes dinner time and I am a pig. Doesn't matter if I had a snack in the afternoon or not, I still fill up till I can't breath and then wonder what the hell I am doing.
I'm on a fast train to no where and haven't a clue how to apply the brakes. Anyone got any suggestions?
We got some finances straightened out so that we are good for another year and a half or so. Hopefully by then there will be something happening with the insurance company. Means we have to watch every penny and stretch them as far as possible but at least we will have the pennies to stretch.
As for me and my weight problem, well it is still a problem. Some days more than others. Lately all I want to do is cook and eat. I want to make all the things I know I shouldn't and then eat every bite of it. For instance I made a slow cooker of beef stew today with lots and lots of vegetables. Had two helpings, not really so bad till I add the 4 homemade dinner rolls I had to go with it,
Not sure why I made the rolls just needed to cook something and it seemed like the right thing to go with the stew. Am I concious of what I am doing? You bet. Do I want to do it? No, but that doesn't seem to matter to my brain.
Each day I wake up and think ok today is the day, I can do this. Eat sensibly, small portions, no junk food, no extra breads.........well that lasts about as long as it takes me to get the thought into my head. I can make it through breakfast and lunch but then comes dinner time and I am a pig. Doesn't matter if I had a snack in the afternoon or not, I still fill up till I can't breath and then wonder what the hell I am doing.
I'm on a fast train to no where and haven't a clue how to apply the brakes. Anyone got any suggestions?
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Where does time go?
Time seems to slip away faster and faster every day. When I was a kid it seemed to take forever for Christmas to arrive and now poof it's gone one year and here already the next. Are our lives busier or just what makes this happen?
Seems like I was just posting here yesterday but of course that is not the case. I cannot believe how long it's been.
TOPS weigh in last week saw me down another 1.8 pounds and loser of the week for the 2nd week in a row. Also got a charm for coming back with a lose after my birthday. I am struggling there is no doubt about it but if I can just do this in little spurts I may make it. I am also attending a Health Basics class with Primary Care Network on Wednesday evenings for the 8 weeks. I started last week. It's kinda boring because it is all the stuff I know about healthy living, eating right, getting more exercise but my doctor wanted me to take it and see if it would motivate me. Not gonna write it off yet.
We are still enjoying beautiful weather here, +15C during the daytime. We got my garage all cleared out so that I can park in it. No more frosty windows, saves on gas as well.
We have a meeting with the bank this week to see about some refinancing. Hopefully it will suceed in cutting our mortgage payments in half. That would help so so much at this point in the game. But as usual not looking for a silver lining till I see the cloud.
Seems like I was just posting here yesterday but of course that is not the case. I cannot believe how long it's been.
TOPS weigh in last week saw me down another 1.8 pounds and loser of the week for the 2nd week in a row. Also got a charm for coming back with a lose after my birthday. I am struggling there is no doubt about it but if I can just do this in little spurts I may make it. I am also attending a Health Basics class with Primary Care Network on Wednesday evenings for the 8 weeks. I started last week. It's kinda boring because it is all the stuff I know about healthy living, eating right, getting more exercise but my doctor wanted me to take it and see if it would motivate me. Not gonna write it off yet.
We are still enjoying beautiful weather here, +15C during the daytime. We got my garage all cleared out so that I can park in it. No more frosty windows, saves on gas as well.
We have a meeting with the bank this week to see about some refinancing. Hopefully it will suceed in cutting our mortgage payments in half. That would help so so much at this point in the game. But as usual not looking for a silver lining till I see the cloud.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
When life hands you lemons ..........
make lemonade!!! So today is the day after my birthday, yesterday was a great day! We went out for lunch with my folks and I did really well (steak sandwich - 7 oz sirloin steak, bean and carrot veggies, 1/2 slice garlic toast and garden salad w/small dab of dressing). Then, oh oh, here comes the kicker(s) - restaurant gives free dessert to birthday diners - yep, I did, mango cheesecake. Then my Mom made an apple dessert that I could not resist - even though she made it with Splenda it still had lots of calories in the crust. Why, oh why do I do this to myself. Excuse - it was my birthday! Acceptable excuse - not really.
So today I am starting to be a good girl and work my program without treats (thanks Dawn you really motivated me). We really don't need anything but basic food to fuel our bodies, so why can't I put that in motion? Hubby and I had this discussion the other day. I think in the back of my mind I don't look in a mirror and see the flab. I see what I want to see and believe what I want to believe no matter how detrimental it may be.
I downloaded SparksPeople onto my i-pod so I can track my calories and weight on a daily basis. I'm also going to start using my Wii at least half an hour a day.
So today I am starting to be a good girl and work my program without treats (thanks Dawn you really motivated me). We really don't need anything but basic food to fuel our bodies, so why can't I put that in motion? Hubby and I had this discussion the other day. I think in the back of my mind I don't look in a mirror and see the flab. I see what I want to see and believe what I want to believe no matter how detrimental it may be.
I downloaded SparksPeople onto my i-pod so I can track my calories and weight on a daily basis. I'm also going to start using my Wii at least half an hour a day.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Clearing up the Unknown ....
Ok, I think I may have somehow gave the impression that hubby's diabetes is out of control. Yes, in a way it is but not because he is not eating properly. He follows a very strict diabetic diet. Unfortunately, with his pain level so high and no relief it throws his blood sugars out. He's been diabetic for over 20 years so knows how important it is to look after his diet.
Diabetes is a strange affliction. When he is going to get sick his body gives him a sign by increasing his blood sugars. It does this as a reaction to the change in his immune system. So in order to get diabetes under control you have to get the rest of the body to cooperate. Much easier said than done when the doctor's won't listen and give him something for pain relief.
Here is an example: Today he got up and had breakfast, pre sugar level was 6.5 which is average and good for him. We went to run a few errands and get our passports renewed. This involved doing a fair amount of walking, which is extremely difficult for him. He had his morning snack of fruit and by the time we got home for lunch he had a major migraine and he could hardly walk. Pre lunch blood sugars at 16. This was not due to his not eating properly but rather due to his body reacting to the pain from walking and the headache.
Once he had lunch and managed to rest for awhile, they returned to normal. So as you can see diabetes is not a disease that effects everyone the same. If you would like to check out the Plant Diet you can go to http://www.drmcdougall.com/ and read through the propaganda and view the sample diet.
His current health issues have nothing to do with his diabetes other than at times the pain makes his blood sugars wonky. Believe me we are very careful with what and how much he eats. We follow a diabeteic guide to meals to the T, as it is so important. Unfortunately, his doctor does not seem to know anything about it especially since he recommended this plant diet.
As for getting another opinion we have done that numerous times and now they are fighting about what they think the diagnosis is. He had blood work done today to test for liver disease, lupus and autoimmune disease. We'll get the results next week.
I had a great day today as I was able to spend the afternoon with my granddaughters. I hadn't seen Alex since her baptism in June and now she is walking. But they both had lots and lots of hugs and kisses for Nana.
Got lots of exercise today just walking from place to place trying to get passport renewals done. Our city is getting so big and they moved the Service Canada office so we ended up driving all over to find it. But they are off and hopefully we'll get them back in a month or so.
Last day of holidays tomorrow, time went by too quicky. But at least I have finally learnt how to sleep through the night again. In fact lazy old me didn't get up till 8:30 this morning!
Diabetes is a strange affliction. When he is going to get sick his body gives him a sign by increasing his blood sugars. It does this as a reaction to the change in his immune system. So in order to get diabetes under control you have to get the rest of the body to cooperate. Much easier said than done when the doctor's won't listen and give him something for pain relief.
Here is an example: Today he got up and had breakfast, pre sugar level was 6.5 which is average and good for him. We went to run a few errands and get our passports renewed. This involved doing a fair amount of walking, which is extremely difficult for him. He had his morning snack of fruit and by the time we got home for lunch he had a major migraine and he could hardly walk. Pre lunch blood sugars at 16. This was not due to his not eating properly but rather due to his body reacting to the pain from walking and the headache.
Once he had lunch and managed to rest for awhile, they returned to normal. So as you can see diabetes is not a disease that effects everyone the same. If you would like to check out the Plant Diet you can go to http://www.drmcdougall.com/ and read through the propaganda and view the sample diet.
His current health issues have nothing to do with his diabetes other than at times the pain makes his blood sugars wonky. Believe me we are very careful with what and how much he eats. We follow a diabeteic guide to meals to the T, as it is so important. Unfortunately, his doctor does not seem to know anything about it especially since he recommended this plant diet.
As for getting another opinion we have done that numerous times and now they are fighting about what they think the diagnosis is. He had blood work done today to test for liver disease, lupus and autoimmune disease. We'll get the results next week.
I had a great day today as I was able to spend the afternoon with my granddaughters. I hadn't seen Alex since her baptism in June and now she is walking. But they both had lots and lots of hugs and kisses for Nana.
Got lots of exercise today just walking from place to place trying to get passport renewals done. Our city is getting so big and they moved the Service Canada office so we ended up driving all over to find it. But they are off and hopefully we'll get them back in a month or so.
Last day of holidays tomorrow, time went by too quicky. But at least I have finally learnt how to sleep through the night again. In fact lazy old me didn't get up till 8:30 this morning!
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