Checking in ...........

Just a quick note to post my weigh in for tonight, as you can see it was up again.  I'm so disappointed in myself that I just want to quit, but I won't no matter what.  Things have to turn around pretty soon I hope.

I'm still working lots of overtime hours and hubby had surgery on his other ear on Friday.  He seen the doctor on Tuesday and they did a rush booking.  I am hoping and praying that it works.

Our TOPS group went bowling tonight so that was a good stress buster.  It was a lot of fun as well, I don't bowl very well but definitely got some much needed exercise.  Working 12 hours a day sitting at a desk does not leave much time for exercising.  I get home and fall into bed, I am so exhausted.

Please don't give up on me I am checking in whenever I can find a few minutes.  Big hugs to you all.

Hating the scales right now ......

Well weigh in was tonight and I was up 2.2 pounds, what the heck is with that?  I can't believe what the stress is doing to my body.  Think I need to start meditating or something, my gosh no wonder my ass feels like it is 6 ax handles wide.  None of my clothes are fitting properly again.  I am a mess.

Is God watching???

We haven't been to church in months due to hubby being so sick but this morning I got up and knew I had to go with or without him.  I didn't want to go alone so I prayed that God would give him the strength to be able to go and He did.  We had an awesome time, the sermon was just what I needed to hear and all the hugs were fantastic.  Not only that they have started a new program where members of the church provide a slow cooker meal and newcomers or those that have been away for awhile are invited to have lunch with the Pastor and his family.  Now you have to understand our church is a very small church (maybe 35 members in total) so when someone is away for awhile it affects everyone.  We had a wonderful time visiting with Pastor Bear and his family and it felt so good to be home.  I needed to go, my attitude towards life with dealing with insurance companies, dumb doctors and incompetent co-workers was pushing me over the edge.

I've been experiencing chest pains from the stress and a very upset digestive system to boot.  Today I needed to be in the house of the Lord and just give my problems to Him as I can no longer carry the burden. 

I don't expect everyone who reads this to agree with me or share my beliefs and that is okay.  I have gone from crying almost none stop yesterday to having a peaceful easy feeling today.  No matter how we obtain that point of sanity we need to reach out to whomever or whatever it takes to realign our lives. 

I've been struggling so much these past months, worrying about health and finances that I had forgotten there is someone out there that can carry this burden for me.  Thank you God for being my rock.

Hubby finally booted me out of the house yesterday and told me to go do something for myself.  I decided to get my hair done and I must admit I did feel better afterwards.  It cost me $135 but hubby said it was money well spend to give me a much needed couple of me hours.  I do love this man so and pray constantly that the doctors will decide what to do.  He is now being sent to see a Rhuemoidologist and then we hope there will be some clearer answers.

Totally and completetely pissed off ..........

First off let me apologize for my language but there just isn't any other way to say it.  Just when things are going along nicely someone has to upset the apple cart with absolutely no thought to how their actions will effect others.

As you know I've been working overtime for a bit now and was supposed to work tomorrow which would have been a big boost to our finances right now.  So I got to work this morning and turned in my overtime for the week and said to my manager that I didn't feel comfortable putting in my time for tomorrow till I had worked it.  She informed me that all overtime had been canceled till at least next week.  I got to thinking and then remembered I'd seen out Union rep in our office a few times yesterday and one of the girls that had not been offered overtime was a bit po'ed.  Well put 2 and 2 together and you get a complaining woman who never works when she is there and the Union and all hell breaks loose.  So now I have to wait till Monday to see if the overtime is going to come back or it she has spoiled it for everyone.  Yes, it should be offered if there is a need for it but this woman works hard at not working.  I am fuming right now ..........she obviously doesn't realize that she probably shot herself in the foot and took the rest of us down with her.

On a brighter note today is my Dad's 80th birthday so I dropped by after work with a card and a gift card from Joey's only, it's his favorite place to eat.  It is the first time I've been in their house and they've lived there for almost 3 years.  My Mom even talked to me ......... I am so happy about that.

The weather turned real nice and it was +2C today and raining so everything is slippery and it was a bit of a drive home tonight.  I'm tired and heading for bed and looking at the good side of things cuz I get to sleep in tomorrow.

Weigh In not so good .........

Well I was up .8 at TOPS weigh in last night, I know it's not much but it was enough to get my sorry butt pushed out of the quarterly challenge.  I know I haven't been paying as much attention to my food as I should have been.  I've been working some pretty long hours and they are about to increase again.  I'm going to work Saturday's and next week 12 hour days.  The overtime is a much needed commodity in our home right now till we get this mess straightened out over hubby's disability.  I'm probably good from now till the end of March so will get it while they are generous enough to offer it.

I'm letting you know that I will probably not be posting daily till the overtime is done.  I sometimes just come home and fall into bed.  Trying to maintain my health so I can keep up the pace so getting lots of rest.

Skippy, I have 13 beautiful grandchildren ranging in age from 21 to 2 months.  Some are biological and some are chosen but they all get equal amounts of love from Nana and Papa.  Not only did I get to spend the weekend with the one turning 13 but I got to spend Sunday with 2 of my granddaughters......life doesn't get any better than that!

I always appreciate your comments so keep them coming.  Blogging has become a way of life for me now and I cannot imagine my life without you all in it. 

Back on line .............

I know I've been missing for a few days.  Our internet went down again and my computer was having some issues but looks like both have been revived.  It has been really cold and snowy here for the last week.  Temps in the -30 C range with lots of snow and really high winds.  Some streets are almost impassable and they just the main routes cleared and start on the side streets when we get another heavy dump and they have to go back to the main routes again.  All you hear everywhere is complaints about the weather but it is winter and it is Alberta so if you don't like stick around for 5 minutes and it will change.  Perdicted to go from this deep freeze to plus temps by Wednesday, see what I mean.  I do love winter just hate the snow shovelling when it is packed and drifts are 4 feet high.

Son and grandson are here for the weekend, celebrating grandson's 13th birthday.  I can't believe where the time goes, seems like yesterday I was anxiously awaiting that call to let me know he had made an appearance.  Son took pity on me yesterday and bought me a snow thrower.  When you are vertically challenged it is hard to get that shovel of snow over the top of the stuff aready piled up.

Food has been ok these past few days, daily wiegh ins seem to have a flucuation of 1 - 2 pounds so not sure what that is all about.  TOPS weigh in tomorrow night so will see what happens.  Haven't been as careful as I should have been I am sure.

Still in the deep freeze .........

We are still experiencing really cold tempatures here, -32C tonight and not much warmer during the day for tomorrow.  I have a sore throat tonight so hope I am not getting what has been going around the office.  Seems people get sick but they don't have enough common sense to stay home till they are completely better so everyone else gets sick too.

I'm in a really bad mood tonight and not exactly sure why or at least I can't put my finger on anything concrete.  Think I'll head off to bed and hopefully tomorrow will be brighter.

0500  muffin and orange
1000  orange
1200  chicken noodle soup w/crackers, celery w/laughing cow cheese, diet jello
1430  snack bar
1730  smokie w/sauerkraut, quinoa

It worked, it worked .............

I was so proud of my TOPS group this evening.  14 weighed in, 22.8 lbs lost and 3.2 lbs gained for an over all lose of 19.6 lbs................way to go team.  Seems like my challenge inspired them enough to test it out.....can't say how proud of them I am.  And part of the 22.8 pounds was my 2 lb lost so I'm happy about that as well.

05:00  cranberry bran muffin, orange
10:00  orange
12:00  chicken noodle sou w/crackers, celery and cucumbers, diet jello
15:00  snack bar
17:00  slice of bread w/ peanut butter & jam
20:30  fried egg w/cheese sandwich (1 slice bread)

Second Version of Hubby's Poem

ROAD TO SUCCESS

Going to church once a week is not the same as praying

Watching the children in in the yard not the same as playing
Dreaming of sea's and foreign land is not the same as going
Sitting in a boat with oars at your feet is useless without rowing.

Don't stay in one spot, don't take each breathe for granted
Dare to explore, set some goals, you will not be empty handed.
Every feast a banquet, silver trays, waiters and candle lit
This excuse may work, when you explain why your not fit.

You come to a meeting, step on the scale, yet you don't feel the burn
The journey has just started, there is much to do, and even more to learn.

The path is straight, but we take detours till frustrated and losing track
The group is there to encourage each one so you can find your way back.

Many have gone before us, and the advise they gave is true
The road to sucess begins with a step, and the step begins with you.
Dennies Vierboom

Is it really important .........

I've been reading through some of the blogs seeing how others are visiting their doctor's for check-ups, getting things taken care of, etc and it got me to thinking about the last time I actually had a complete physical (along with blood/urinary workups) and it's been about 3 years.  I do stop in about once every 6 months to get prescriptions refilled or if I get a bad sinus infection and need antibiotics.  Other than that I usually feel fine and am always of the mind that if it isn't broke don't fix it.  Not sure if that is the right attitude or not but due to the problems we have had with getting hubby looked after I have a sour taste in my mouth for doctor's.  Also, it is hard to find a family practitioner here in Alberta that is taking on new patients and I absolutely refuse to go back to the one I was using before.  So just how important is that "yearly checkup"?  Some say really important, others say not so much.  I get my yearly mammogram done because of my Mom's breast cancer but I can do that without going to a doctor and I get a letter with the results.  I get my eyes dialated once a year to keep an "eye" on my macular degeneration, again I can do that without a doctor.  So what exactly can a doctor provide once a year if you are not feeling ill in anyway? 

It's still blizzarding here, I shovelled the driveway this morning and it took me 4x as long as normal.  We have drifts 4 feet high and the snow is packed hard from the blowing wind.  It's great exercise and I love shovelling snow just didn't anticipate how long it was going to take me.  Still blowing out there so will probably have to do it again tomorrow, not going out there again today.

Sitting here listening to the radio and there is an ad for Herbal Magic that advertises they will pay you $11.00 for every pound lost between now and I think the end of February.  What they neglected to add was that the program costs $600.00 a month for the all the vitamins, etc that they want you to take, so you would have to lose 60 pounds a month just to break even......ironic isn't it.

06:45   orange, cranberry bran muffin w/butter
10:30   french vanilla cappichino
13:30   chicken noodle soup w/crackers, 2 baby bell cheese portions w/3 Ritz crackers, cup of tea
17:00   smokie w/sauerkraut and quinoa

Winter is raging..........

We are in the midst of a blizzard here in Central Alberta.  Wind is howling, snow is blowing, roads are a mess and I am here safe, snug and warm in my home.  Thank you God for blessings.

Managed to sleep till 5:30 this morning and didn't get out of bed till 6:45.  It was a treat considering I have to be up at 4:30 on weekdays.  Went out and cleaned the driveway and thought well this isn't too bad.  Had made plans to head to Costco if the weather was ok but had to wait till this morning to decide as they had major snow storm warnings out.  So after I cleaned the drive decided it wasn't to bad, called my friend and told her it was a go.  We headed out when she got here and it wasn't too bad, lots of blowing snow but good tires and an alert mind are a good combination when travelling in this type of weather. 

When we got back we vaccum packed meat portions and I made a nice lunch.  Now I am doing laundry and just finished making 2 dozen low fat bran/cranberry muffins.  I must confess I had 2 of them when they came out of the oven ........they are so good.

Weekends are always hard for me, I drink too much coffee and sometimes forget to watch what I am doing food wise.  But not today, I made a deal with myself to be very careful as I have to weigh in with a lose on Monday.

06:45  English Toffee Cappachino
08:30  1 slice toast w/peanut butter
11:00  1 cup french vanilla cappachino & 1 Cinnabon snack bar
14:00  roast pork tenderloin, boiled baby potatoes, steamed grean beans
17:30  2 low fat bran/cranberry muffins w/butter, 1 cup french vanilla cappachino

Wow meal times got all messed up and now it is dinner time and I am not hungry (muffins and coffee do that to you).  Think that is enough for today.  My coffees are only 100 or less calories but they add up if you have more than one a day.  I am trying to only drink them on the weekends.

TGIF ....

I am so thankful it is Friday, even if there is a snow storm warning issued.  I am looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow.  It is so incredibly busy at work I am totally exhausted.  Went out with some of my co-workers after work for coffee and appetizers.  I ate just a little of everything but forgot my scale at home so had to eyeball it.

Thanks everyone for the comments on hubby's poem. I am really proud of him for writing it and yes Mensa you may use it if you like.  I was also thinking of submitting it to the TOPS magazine.

05:00  shredded wheat biscuits w/milk & sugar, grapefruit
10:00  snack bar
12:00  raw pepper, cucumbers, 2 baby bell cheese and 5 Breton crackers
14:30  snack bar and 1 Tim Horton's donut hole
17:00  1 piece cheese bread, 2 potato wedges, 6 nachos, 2 Tbl spinach dip with 2 pita crisps - didn't want to eat too much as it was mostly carbs so will have a snack here soon

Sharing a poem .........

Hubby is a member of my TOPS group and has lost 37 lbs so far (much better than his wife is doing) and today he wrote a motivational poem I would like to share with all of you.

Going to church once a week is not the same as praying
... Watching the children in the yard is not the same as playing
Dreaming of sea's and foreign land is not the same as going
Sitting in a boat with oars at your feet is useless without you rowing
Bouncing on the seat and playing with the knobs will never move the car
We are the masters of our own destiny and destiny is never where you are
The program works but we must to or the job is only halfway done
Like a harnessed horse with no driver standing out in the prairie sun
So watch the hazards learn what works lets give the horse a hand
The horse is called TOPS she will carry the load and take us to the promised land

05:00  mini wheats, grapefruit
10:00  yogurt
12:00  raw peppers, cucumbers, beef w/barley soup and crackers
14:30  snack bar
17:00  pot roast with potatoes, carrots and onions

Hope everyone had a great day!!!

Wow the year is going fast .........

It's already just about the 6th of January, my gosh where does the time go.  Had a big meeting at work today finally found out what my job is going to be in the new world, exactly the same as what I am doing now.  I'm happy about that because there were some major changes coming down the pipes. 

TOPS on Monday was awesome.  We have some new contests going and I issued a year long challenge to all the members.  They have to weigh in every week with a lose in order to be eligible for quarterly prizes and then a big one at the end of the year.  Some complained about it but as I told them it is strictly voluntary so if you don't think you can do it you don't have to sign up.  It will cost them $5 a quarter to participate and over half of the members have already signed up.  I'm looking forward to the challenge and seeing the results.

0500  rice krispies, yogurt, banana
10:00 banana
12:00 raw peppers, cucumbers and a frozen meal
14:30 snack bar
18:00 checken stuffed w/brocoli, boiled baby potatoes, green/yellow beans w/carrots
21:00 low fat yogurt bar

I'm having a hard time trying to work long hours and still keep up with the blog so some entries maybe short and sweet but I will be here.

Back to work ..............

Hard to get back in the groove after having almost a month of short weeks.  Stacks and stacks of paperwork awaited me.  Don't know if I will ever see the end of it, but then it does keep me employed.

0500  fruit cup and yogurt
10:00 banana
12:00 soup and crackers
14:30 pudding cup
17:00 pineapple chicken, rice, green beans

TOPS Weigh In tonight .........283.6 lbs

I apologize for not posting yesterday.  This bug that I have caught is tiring, in that all I want to do is sleep.  I feel asleep after dinner last night and didn't wake up till this morning.  Hopefully the rest is healing.  So I will record yesterday's food now and today's later on.

Yesterday
0600   english toffee cappachino
0800   mandarin orange, 1 slice toast and 1 tbl peanut butter
10:30   yogurt
12:30   1 pkg Ichoban noodles (broth drained off), 2 baby bell cheese pieces
14:30   pudding cup and 1 pkg granola crunchers
18:00   chili

Didn't do my evening snack because I fell asleep.

Today
0630   english toffee cappachino
0800   rice krsipies w/milk & sugar, fruit cup
10:30  banana
12:30  chili on toast
14:30  cup of green tea and snack bar
17:00  frozen entree - salsbury steak
20:00  banana


Skippy, believe it or not 8 oz of food is a lot of food and I worked out the calories for last 2 days and it averages 1400 - 1500 which is what I am striving for.  Thank you for your concern, I have learned over the years that starving oneself does make a healthy eating plan make.  I promise to keep an eye on the calorie intake and make sure that I get lots of fruits and veggies.  I'm concentrating on upping my fluid intake so have been drinking tea and water regularly throughout the day.  I'm gonna keep with the 8 oz meals and 4 oz snacks for a couple of weeks and see how it goes.  If I start to feel out of sorts will reevaluate. You are such a sweetie to care so much.  I promise not to .....cough, cough, cough......on you........

Weigh in - 280.2 lbs

Ok this is not a good start to the year.  I was fine at 3 a.m. and just woke up with a horribly sore throat and every muscle in my body screaming.  Not sure how that happened but guess I have to deal with it.  So today is going to be a day of fluids and Tylenol I guess.

I hope everyone had a great New Year's eve.  We babysat for Jamie and Ashlene so they could have an evening out.  They've been pretty much tied down since Alex was born.  Sounds like they had an awesome time. 

Well I am off to make a cup of hot tea and catch up on some of the blogs.

Well made it through the first day, so that I will consider a victory.  I kinda like not having to worry about calories and just weighing my food.  Even though I did not feel that great, managed to stay on track.

10:00   green tea
           diet jello

12:15   tomato rice soup and soda crackers

16:30   fruit cup

17:45  scrambled eggs, sauted mushrooms & onions, slice of bread

20:00  fruit cake, diet jello, green tea